Café mocha: Essential Child Raising Agent
by cassesque
Summary: In which Ianto finds a part of him he never knew he had, and Jack pervs on babies.
1. what goes bump in the night

"Jack! There's a rift spike in a location near to where you are currently…" Tosh shouted, scanning her monitor, as she struggled to be heard over the alarms on her computer indicating rift activity.

"Give us a chance, Tosh!" Jack's voice came through over the com, breaking up in parts, and was followed by a succession of grunts and groans.

Tosh copied the co-ordinates and forwarded them to one of the computers on-board the SUV. "You and Ianto are still Weevil hunting, right?" she said, but abruptly stopped typing and looked horrified, "You're not having a little rendezvous?"

Jack pretended to be insulted as he elbowed a Weevil in the face, causing it to collapse to the ground. "Tosh!"

"You haven't answered my question yet," she said, as she began methodically clearing Owen's junk off her workstation and moving it back onto his.

"Well," Jack began as he wielded his elbows effectively once more, "we are…"

"Don't worry, Tosh," interrupted Ianto, swinging a bat into an angry Weevil, sending it crashing into some bushes with a satisfying crunch. "We're still Weevil Warring."

"Weevil Warring?" Jack repeated incredulously, before he knocked another Weevil out with a newly discovered two by four and stepped back to admire his handy work, "What kind of name is that?"

"A good one," retorted Ianto as he swung his bat towards a Weevil that was heading towards Jack's unsuspecting back, "alliteration is good."

Jack turned round in time to see the bat collide with the Weevil's head, sending it down to the ground with a thump.

"Thank you," Jack said, looking round to double check that they'd got all the Weevils subdued. "You just saved my life."

"That's what I'm here for," Ianto smiled, and Jack walked over to him to draw him up for a kiss.

Back at the Hub, Tosh grimaced and switched her com off, not wanting or needing to hear her boss and co-worker make out.

"Jack," Ianto murmured between kisses, "we have to stop." Jack, however, refused to obey, so the Welshman put his hands between the two of them, gently pushing him away.

Jack didn't answer him, instead kissing him harder and reaching between them to draw Ianto's hands around his neck.

Owen's voice interrupted them. "Guys?" There was a pause, before he added louder, "Guys?"

The two of them stopped kissing and Jack rested his forehead against Ianto's, allowing the two of them to have a moment to indulge themselves.

"Hellooo? Anyone there?"

Jack sighed and hit his com, "Yes, Owen, we're here."

"Good," Owen said, sounding relieved, "it's just that I'm starving and I was wondering if you lot could bring us back some takeaway."

Ianto walked away from Jack and began dragging the Weevil bodies into the back of the SUV. Jack rolled his eyes at Owen's behaviour and started to help his boyfriend, while Owen went on, not noticing that Jack wasn't listening, "... pizza would be good but I want some spicy beef, otherwise, I wouldn't mind a Chinese either."

"Alright, Owen," Jack said, "we get the message; you want food." He turned round to see that Ianto had piled all the bodies into the back of the SUV and was sitting in the passenger seat, radio turned up loud, head banging and fingers tapping in time to the music.

"Wow," Jack grinned, climbing into the driver's seat, "someone's in a good mood."

Ianto nodded and smiled at Jack but didn't say anything.

"So, Tosh," Jack said, hitting his com as he put the SUV in gear and drove off, "where's this location?"

Tosh sighed exasperatedly as she watched her com flash blue, before she clipped it to her ear, already knowing what she was being asked. "I sent you the co-ordinates earlier."

"Yeah but I —"

Ianto interrupted, "Tosh, don't worry about it; Jack just can't be bothered to transfer the data across."

"Well," Tosh said, as she closed her game of Solitaire and pulled up a map of the area, "Come back to the Hub via Lloyd George Avenue and take a turn left onto Magretion Place, keep going till you reach the green—the spike was around there."

"I know where that is," Ianto agreed readily, "I'll show him the turning. Thanks for your help, Tosh."

"Thanks, Tosh," echoed Jack before he switched the coms off. He turned to Ianto, "So…"

Ianto raised an eyebrow, "So?"

"Have I done something wrong?" Jack asked, "Is that why you're mad at me?"

Ianto smiled and Jack pouted. "I'm not mad at you Jack."

Jack's face turned puzzled, "You're acting like you're mad at me."

"I was thinking about things," Ianto murmured by way of explanation, and then pointed to the red brick apartment block on his left, "Turn here."

Jack manoeuvred the SUV down the road but it brought it to a stop when the road ended and a footpath lined with trees appeared in front of them.

"We'll have to go on foot from here," said Jack and he exited the car at the same time as Ianto, pulling his Webley out its holder.

Ianto called into his com, "Tosh?" He waited for a reply before he continued, "Any clues at what we're looking for?"

"Sorry," Tosh replied, "the spike was on the footpath, and there are no CCTV cameras nearby. You're on your own, I'm afraid."

"Thanks anyway," Ianto said as they approached the entrance to the footpath and he turned to Jack.

Jack was cheerful. "Looks like we're on our own," he beamed brightly, before he tripped over the metal bars to stop people riding their bikes down the path. "Shit!"

"You okay, Jack?" Ianto asked, since Jack had disappeared from view. He pulled a miniature torch out of his suit pocket and shone it across the ground, only to see Jack sprawled across it. Ianto couldn't help it; he laughed at the indignant look on Jack's face.

"It's not funny," Jack complained, pouting as Ianto helped him up, "that really hurt."

Ianto brushed his clothes off, frowning at the dirt. "It's okay; I'll kiss it better later," he promised, laughing when he saw the other man brighten immediately, before they continued down the path.

"Tosh?" Jack called through the coms as he edged his way to the end of the alley and looked around in each direction, his gun following his movements, "Has it moved?"

"No," Tosh said, frowning at her screen, "you've gone past it."

Suddenly, from halfway back down the path, Ianto interrupted their conversation, "Jack!"

Jack turned and ran to Ianto, fearing the worst, his voice rising, "What's happened? Why've you turned your torch o—"

"Shhh!" Ianto said frantically, slamming his hand over Jack's mouth. He crouched down, bringing Jack with him and turned the torch back on to show him what he had found in the bushes.

Wrapped up in a little white blanket was a baby.


	2. every day's a treasure

"Well," Jack said inspecting the baby and putting his gun away, "I wasn't expecting that."

Tosh sounded worried, "What is it?"

"A baby," Ianto answered, frowning, "she looks like someone I should know."

Jack noticed that he used a female pronoun, and raised an eyebrow delicately. "How can you tell it's a girl?

Ianto shrugged, pulling out a device which detected remnants of rift activity and waving it over the bundle of white. "I don't know. She just looked like one."

"Well, anyway, what you got?" Jack asked, as he picked up the baby and cradled her in his arms.

"She's covered in residual rift activity," Ianto confirmed as he fiddled with the instrument, which produced an approving beep, and looked up at Jack who had taken the blanket off the bottom half of the baby in bemusement. "What _are_ you doing?"

Jack looked up from his examination of the baby, "Well, two things; I was determining the gender of the baby and—"

"And nothing," Ianto interrupted with a mischievous grin, "the fact of the matter is, you were perving on a _baby_."

At that moment, Gwen's voice came across the com, clearly horrified, "Jack! That's disgusting!"

Jack sighed at his team's antics. "Let's not focus on me!" he deflected quickly, "This baby is our number one priority, we need to find out if it's human, alien or what."

Ianto agreed, "We need to get her back to the Hub," and took the baby out of Jack's arms. She had woken up at all the shouting and was staring at him with wide eyes.

"She likes you," Jack commented as the two of them walked slowly back down the footpath, carefully watching Ianto interact with the baby.

Not that the baby did anything apart from stare, and Jack suspected that she was too young to do much else.

"Err… Jack," Ianto babbled, turning round to face the older man, "What do we do with her? I mean, if she was mine, I wouldn't want my baby riding round in an enclosed space with Weevils. And what if we crash? I mean, she has no car seat and I know I'm good at a lot of things Jack, but even I wouldn't be able to stop a baby flying through the wind—"

Jack stepped closer to Ianto and silenced him with a kiss. It worked because Ianto calmed down, and although he was very aware of the baby, only grasping at Jack with one hand, she started to cry.

Things were awkward as the two men scrabbled away from each other.

"I think she's hungry," Ianto said abruptly as he stared at her.

Jack was curious, "What makes you say that?"

In response, she was thrust unceremoniously in his face, "Well she doesn't smell does she?"

Jack's hands flew to his face in horror. "Eugh! Ianto!"

Ianto pulled the crying baby away from Jack's face before she could get hit and cradled her in his arms again trying to soothe her, his eyes sparkling in amusement at Jack's expressions.

"Give her to me; I've dealt with a few babies in my time." Jack said at last, reaching over to take the crying baby off Ianto.

"Babes, maybe. Babies, no," Ianto muttered, frowning as he tried to imagine Jack with a baby.

Jack ignored him and held the baby close to his chest, which inadvertently made her cry more. Panicking, he thrust the baby back into Ianto's arms and watched in fascination as she quietened down immediately.

"Maybe she likes me more because she saw me first?" Ianto suggested.

Jack shrugged nonchalantly as he ushered Ianto into the passenger seat, drew the seatbelt across Ianto and baby, then shut the door.

The two sat in a companionable silence while Jack drove the short distance back to the Hub.

"Earlier," Ianto started, interrupting the silence and capturing Jack's attention, "I was thinking about us."

Jack looked surprised as he parked the SUV but his reply was cut off as the baby started crying again.

"Let's get inside," Ianto sighed, unbuckling himself and sliding out of the car, "we have milk in the fridge."

Jack nodded and the two men hurried in through the back entrance.

* * *

"We're here!" Jack called out flamboyantly, waving his arms around.

"Good," replied Owen as he walked up to the pair with an expectant look on his face, "so where's the food?"

Ianto interjected, "Here is a crying baby," as he stepped from behind Jack and headed over to the kitchen, "who needs feeding."

The team followed him over and he pulled milk out the fridge and poured it into a mug.

He finished his explanation, "We have milk, we have a hungry baby; how do we get the milk _into_ the baby?"

"She's gorgeous," cooed Gwen, rushing over to Ianto and grabbing her out of his arms to rock her expertly.

"She is cute," agreed Tosh, crooning softly over the baby in Gwen's arms, "but is she human? I mean, she came through the rift."

Jack nodded in agreement. "Well, I figured as soon as she was fed, we could work that out."

"So how do we feed her?" Gwen asked, repeating Ianto's earlier question. The baby started crying again, and she was passed around till she eventually reached Ianto again and quietened down.

"We don't have any bottles around the place," Ianto added thoughtfully, cradling the baby to his chest, "and there's no place to buy one near here." He paused, thinking the situation over. "And none of them would be open at this time of night."

"No need to panic," Owen yelled, setting the baby off again, as he ran up the stairs from the autopsy bay, "I'm bloody brilliant, that's what I am."

"So brilliant you made a baby cry," Jack muttered, rolling his eyes as Owen ran into view, holding up a baby bottle triumphantly.

Tosh asked the question that was on everyone's mind, "Where'd you get that?"

Owen shrugged, "Doctors have to be ready for all kinds of circumstances." He turned to Ianto. "You need to heat that milk up."

Jack put the mug of milk in the microwave, while he wondered how Owen managed to put that in an expense report without him noticing.

"How do you know all these things about babies?" Gwen asked, looking at Owen suspiciously.

"It's called medical school," replied Owen sarcastically before he moved over to Ianto to show him how to feed the baby.

"Relax," Ianto said as he fobbed Owen off, "I've fed babies before, I do have a niece and nephew."

The baby was quiet, and everybody was appreciating the peace.

"What are we going to do with her?" Tosh asked quietly, "If she is an alien, that is. She's not a threat, she's just a baby, but we can't put her in an orphanage or—"

"Don't worry about it," Jack said as he leaned on the counter next to Ianto, "It depends; she's probably harmless and she could go all her life without having to know she's an alien, if not, well, we'll cross that bridge we come to it."

He was leaning close enough to Ianto to feel the man repress a shudder, presumably at the thought of having to kill this innocent baby. He sighed; things got complicated when emotions got involved.

"She's fallen asleep," Ianto announced to the team, pleased. The announcement elicited the typical fuss from Tosh and Gwen, who moved to try and surround the baby again.

"Good," nodded Owen as he took her from Ianto, deftly pulling her out of Gwen's reach, "I was planning on that; it'll make the tests easier."

Gwen asked the question that Ianto wanted to, "Tests?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to take a sample of her DNA to analyse, then give her a quick medical examination to make sure she's not injured," Owen explained as he walked to the Autopsy Bay with the sleeping baby.

"I'll come with you," Gwen said hastily as she trailed after him babbling about babies.

Tosh excused herself to her workstation to leave Jack and Ianto alone together.

"You're getting emotionally attached," Jack said as he pulled Ianto into his arms.

Ianto sighed, "I don't know why. I can't understand it." He paused and rested his forehead against Jack's nose, "I never have before; I've known her ten minutes and now I can't see my life without her in it."

"There is something familiar about her," he agreed. "I'll tell you a secret," Jack bent his head so that his forehead lined up with Ianto's, "I think I'm beginning to feel attached to her too. She is one of the cutest babies I've ever seen in my life."

Ianto nodded and rested his head on Jack's shoulder, which Jack took as an invitation to kiss him.

"Guys!" Owen yelled, forgetting that he had a patient who was alive, and would wake up at any and every undue noise. He picked her up, rocking her in his arms, "Argh, you miserable little baby."

"You got the results?" Gwen asked, hurrying down to join him in the Autopsy Bay.

"Yup," Owen nodded, busy with the crying baby, "Look, can you get Ianto here? He's the only one she's quiet for."

"It's all right," Ianto interrupted as he squeezed past Jack and Tosh, who had crowded around in no time, "I'm here."

Owen was relieved, shoving the crying bundle into Ianto's arms rather unceremoniously. "Thank God. I'm remembering why I don't like people under ten again."

Everyone turned to him questioningly, but Owen chose to ignore them and focus on the results.

"Right, well." He turned to the screen projected on the wall behind him, "She is human. She is a she and she is two weeks old."

The team collectively breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're sure she's two weeks?" asked Ianto, "She has a full head of hair already."

Owen shrugged, "Every baby's different."

"I knew she was human from the start," Gwen said as she cooed at the baby, waggling her finger, "She is _soooo_ cute. Yes she is. Yes she is."

Ianto rolled his eyes and handed the baby over to her, much to Gwen's delight. "So what do we do now?"

"Orphanage most likely," Jack answered, looking grim.

"Well, isn't there anything we can do?" Gwen asked, engrossed in the baby, "I mean, find some relatives."

Tosh agreed, "She needs a good home."

Jack sighed as his team ganged up on him when it came to the welfare of the child, "Fine, fine. Owen, send Tosh the DNA. Tosh, you compare it to all the samples we have in the databases."

Tosh ran off whilst Owen was busy sending her the sample which left Jack, Ianto and Gwen with the baby.

"She needs a name," Jack decided.

Ianto was bitter, "Why? We're just going to get rid of her anyway."

Gwen looked between the two men and her intuition flickered. She narrowed her eyes, "Right, you two, what's going on here? I m—"

"You might want to have a look at this," Tosh shouted across the Hub, "No, really, you'll all want to have a look at this."

Worried, the rest of the team hurried up the stairs to crowd round Tosh's workstation.

"So, I started by running her DNA through all the government agencies and I got an instantaneous match." She hit a button on her keyboard to bring up her findings, "It's Ianto—he's her father."

Everyone was glad Ianto wasn't holding the baby when his eyes rolled into the back of his head and Jack had to catch him when he fainted.


	3. keep me breathing

"Well," Jack said, grunting as he lifted Ianto's unconscious body into his arms. "I better put him upstairs."

"I can't believe it," Gwen mumbled.

"I'm pretty sure it came as a shock to Ianto too," commented Owen dryly.

Jack walked towards his office, still giving the team orders, "Tosh, I want you to compare the baby's DNA to that of Lisa Hallett's."

"Right away," Tosh said as she turned back to her workstation, searching for Lisa's DNA in the many databases.

Gwen and Owen peered at the baby closely.

"You know," Gwen started, "she does look like him a bit. The eyes, the nose…"

Owen agreed, "Babies generally tend to take after their father's in the first year of their life to prevent them from being disowned."

"I don't know," sighed Gwen, "Ianto and Lisa obviously didn't have children, so how come she exists?"

Jack watched the unconscious man in his arms carefully. Ianto obviously hadn't known about this child and it was highly unlikely that Lisa would have had one, even before she was turned into a Cyberman. He sighed and shifted Ianto so that he was almost sitting in his lap. She must have come from a parallel world. That was the only explanation. That also meant that there was an alternate Ianto and Lisa out there missing a baby. Most likely distraught. Or would they be dead? Had the Cybermen won the battle at Canary Wharf? Was she an orphan?

So many questions, complications and for once, Jack found himself wishing that things could be simpler.

Ianto stirred in his arms, and Jack knew he'd be awake soon. He would want to keep the baby, of course; he had already become attached to her in the space of a couple of hours. Would he want Jack to be a parent figure in her life? How would he cope bringing up a small child? Would he leave Torchwood?

Jack knew that deep down he loved Ianto. He just didn't really want to be in touch with those emotions either, that meant examining his feelings which would make him realise just how much he loved the man. But that would change soon, babies made things harder. Would this baby turn their 'thing' into 'A Thing'?

"I know you don't age," Ianto said, interrupting Jack out of his thoughts, "But if you keep frowning like that, you're going to get lines on your forehead."

Jack smiled, "Heya." He paused as Ianto swung himself round on his lap so that he faced Jack, "How you feeling?"

"Can we not talk about that for a while?" Ianto murmured into Jack's neck. "I need…" He gulped audibly, "I just need…"

Jack understood that Ianto needed all to be right in his world before he dealt with the baby downstairs.

Determined to make Ianto forget about the night's events for an hour or two, he slid two fingers under Ianto's chin and tilted his head up so he could kiss him. Ianto responded to the kiss enthusiastically, wrapping his arms around Jack's neck and pushing his braces off his shoulders.

It was only when Jack had moved them onto his desk that he sat back on his haunches, straddling Ianto's naked body that he asked, "You do want this right? I'm not forcing you or anything, am I?"

Ianto frowned, annoyed that Jack had stopped, but then he paused, sat up and his expression turned to amused, "Do you really think you could force me?"

"Ianto…" Jack clambered off Ianto and stood opposite his desk.

"Do you want to know what I was thinking about earlier in the car?" Ianto asked as he pulled Jack towards him, and then pushed him onto the desk so that he was lying down. "I was thinking about this." He straddled Jack, grasped his penis and the two lost themselves in each other for the next hour and a half.

* * *

"You feeling better?" Jack asked as he rolled Ianto onto his chest to hug him.

Ianto smiled, "Much."

"Good," Jack said as he planted a kiss on Ianto's head, "now up, you've got to face the world, or more specifically, your daughter."

Ianto groaned as he stood up, "You're putting me off going downstairs." He turned around to offer Jack a hand up, and then started to hunt around the office for his clothes.

"You don't need to worry about it," Jack said as he started getting dressed, "I'm here to help you; whatever decision you make."

Ianto sighed as he found his trousers on a lamp, then proceeded to put them back on, "But that's the thing—I'm going to be responsible for this little person, I have to make all the decisions for her." He paused, getting to the root of the problem as he buttoned up his shirt, "I'm twenty-six years old. What do I know about children? I mean, this morning my biggest worry was thinking of an excuse so I could get you into bed and now I have to look after a two-week-old baby. I didn't even know that the milk had to be heated up."

Jack pulled his braces over his shoulders before he went to comfort Ianto, "So? There are books, videos, the Internet." He kissed Ianto on the forehead. "Learn as you go along; there is no manual on how to be a parent. Besides," he grinned, pressing a kiss to the other man's nose, "you were always a fast learner."

Ianto laughed softly then pulled his suit jacket on. "I'm right behind you with this, Ianto," Jack said as he opened the door and the two of them left his office.

"I was afraid you'd say that," Ianto muttered.

"Why?" Jack asked, worried that Ianto wanted an excuse to get him out his life.

Ianto turned to Jack and smiled, "Because now I'm aroused again."

Jack's response was cut off by the sound of the baby crying. They walked over to the workstations to see Tosh and Gwen trying to calm her down.

"'Bout time," Owen said as he caught sight of the two men, "she's been crying for ages."

Ianto was horrified as the baby was passed into his arms and she quietened down immediately, "Why didn't you get me earlier?"

Owen snorted, "Like any of us were going to go up there."

Tosh pulled Jack over to her workstation. "Lisa is the mother of the baby," she told him, and leaned closer to Jack to whisper, "but what is he going to do with her? I mean, how did she get here?"

Jack was honest, "I don't know." He paused, realising that Ianto was entitled to know these results and pulled him over to the screen to have a look. Ianto stared at it, eyes wide.

"No shit, Sherlock," Owen muttered, "just looking at the baby you could tell she was mixed race."

At Gwen and Tosh's glares he elaborated, "What? Well she's not pale is she? She's a kind of warm mocha colour." He paused, "Speaking of food, I'm going to order a take away since _some_ people couldn't be arsed to pick anything up on their way in."

"I think a baby's more important than a Chinese, Owen." Gwen retorted.

Owen started a nasty retort back but was cut off by Ianto. "Oh—"

"I'm going to keep her," announced Ianto, holding the baby up in front of him, like she was some kind of trophy.

The team murmured their approval and Gwen hugged him, "I'm so glad, you've made the right choice, you know."


	4. anybody wanna buy a memory

"Right!" Jack said, picking up his coat and Ianto's, "We're going home, you won't see us tomorrow." He paused, and continued wickedly, "You might not see us the day after; I don't know yet."

Ianto handed the baby to Jack while he put his coat on, but didn't get a chance to take her back from him as Jack wrapped his free arm round Ianto's waist and led the younger man out of the building.

Gwen yelled at their retreating backs, "Oh, and Ianto!" She waited till he had turned round before she continued, "You got to name her by the time you come back to work."

He smiled and continued to the door.

Jack was waiting for him in the car and handed Ianto the baby quickly. "She's just done a poopsie in her blanket."

"Gross!" Ianto said, holding her away from his suit.

Jack wrinkled up his nose as he steered the SUV out onto the open road, "I know. It smells bad, I don't think I want to imagine what it looks like."

Ianto glared at Jack, "How are we going to cope tonight? She needs clothes, nappies, bottles…"

"Relax," Jack said as he turned the car in the opposite direction to Ianto's house, "Tesco Extra is there for a reason."

Ianto visibly relaxed. "And keep the receipts when you're done," added Jack as he raced through the empty streets, "You can hide them in an expenses report."

"You are incorrigible," Ianto responded, still holding the baby away from him. He squinted into the distance, "We almost there? My arms are hurting me. This baby just gets heavier."

Jack laughed, "Yup, almost there." He turned a corner, "You know you have to think of a name for this baby. We can't just keep calling her The Baby."

Ianto shrugged (as well as he could with a baby in his outstretched arms). "It'll have to do for now. This is going to need some serious thought; generally people get nine months to think about this."

Jack rolled his eyes and turned into the car park, "Call her Jack Junior."

Ianto didn't bother to dignify that with a response as he stepped out the car.

"Oh come on, Yan," Jack called as he hurried after Ianto, "I was only joking."

Ianto passed the baby off to Jack before he could react, "I know," he found a trolley with a built in car seat then dropped a chaste kiss on Jack's lips. "Come on; let's get this over and done with."

They walked into the store that was full of late night shoppers and split up.

"So," Ianto said, talking to the baby as he pushed her down the aisles, "what kind of cot do you want? I mean, we have to get you a temporary one before I get the chance to buy you some proper furniture." He stopped in front of a complicated looking travel cot. "Nice…" He turned the price tag over and his eyes widened, "Nice price too."

She stared at him, her eyes wide and unblinking, and for a moment, Ianto saw his sister staring at him, the same blue eyes, the same nose—the resemblance was uncanny.

"Only the best for you," Ianto said as he put the cot into the trolley, "besides, if we didn't have this; you'd have to sleep in a draw or something."

He tickled her in the stomach and continued pushing the trolley down the aisle.

"Ianto!" Jack called as he searched the shop for his errant lover, before catching sight of Ianto holding up a box of one hundred and eighty six nappies, "Only twenty three pounds?" He asked as he caught sight of the price, "Not bad. Anyway, Ianto, look at this dress I found!" He held up a little blue pinafore, grinning manically, "Isn't it so cute?"

Ianto laughed at how hyper Jack was getting about baby clothes. "Tell you what; I'll get her essentials and you grab her clothes, since you're having so much fun." Jack put the dress in the trolley and pressed a chaste kiss to Ianto's lips.

"Tell you what," Jack said, picking up a baby changing kit off a shelf and grabbing the baby out the trolley, "I'll go pay for this and change her."

The prospect of having a baby around that didn't smell pleased Ianto so he agreed, watching the two of them leave. He sighed before he moved forward down the aisle, picking out a car seat.

* * *

Five minutes later and the trolley was full of other items that Ianto decided were essential. Jack returned with a clean smelling baby to find Ianto standing in front of baby bouncers.

"Do you think she's going to need one?" Jack mused, as he placed the baby in the trolley.

Ianto shrugged, "Well she's going to get bored in the office isn't she?"

"You're going to bring her in to work?" Jack asked, surprised that Ianto had made the decision to stay at Torchwood so quickly.

Ianto sighed, "If I get an au pair, I'd feel like I'd lose her to someone else and if I leave Torchwood I'd feel like I lost you." He turned to Jack with a smile on his face. "I want to have the best of both worlds. My parents both worked and managed to raise me and my sister just fine."

Jack smiled at how stubborn Ianto could be. "Isn't it going to be dangerous for the baby?"

"I'm not going to take her out Weevil Warring, Jack," Ianto muttered defensively as he smiled down at his baby in the trolley, "and if anyone tries anything…" He turned to give Jack a bone chilling smile. "I'll see that they live to regret it."

"Woah," Jack said feeling lost between worried, scared and aroused, "I think we need to continue this conversation at home."

Ianto nodded and turned the trolley round towards the food aisles, "And I need to spend some more thinking about my options. I mean I'm responsible for this little person; the decisions I make now are going to shape her life."

Jack kept up with Ianto's fast pace easily, wondering where he was going. "You're worrying about this far too much Ianto. I mean, with you as a parent, this little girl's going to grow up to be a fine young woman."

Ianto stopped and smiled as he started loading baby food into the near full trolley, "I'm glad one of us has such faith in me."

"Don't be so negative," Jack said as he started pushing the trolley to give Ianto a break, "you'll be fine." He paused, surveying the trolley, "Is that everything? Do we need anything else?"

"I think that's everything," Ianto nodded, then grinned, "If we need anything we can ask Gwen to bring it round; no doubt she'll need an excuse to come and see the baby."

Jack laughed and started unloading the goods onto the conveyer belt.

The girl working on the till looked half asleep but when she caught sight of Jack perked up, "Hiya, nice night to be buying…" she looked at the items on the belt, "…baby things?"

Her eyes widened further when she caught sight of Ianto and the baby. Ianto rolled his eyes and put the baby in the car seat which she had already scanned.

He smiled down at her as she yawned, "Now, isn't that more comfortable?"


	5. no dust upon the furniture of love

In the mean time, Jack had packed the rest of the items into bags and paid for them with the Torchwood company card.

"Come on Ianto," Jack said with a smile as he watched his lover interact with the baby, "she needs her beauty sleep."

"What do you mean, she needs her beauty sleep?" Ianto said indignantly, looking at the baby from the side as Jack pushed the trolley, "Are you implying that my baby's ugly?"

Jack was amused. "Well, she doesn't need as much as you…"

"You calling me ugly?" Ianto said with a raised eyebrow.

Jack was careful with his response, "I didn't say that."

"Well, I'll tell you what," Ianto said haughtily, "my daughter is more gorgeous than you on your best day."

Jack swerved the trolley round and began pushing it towards a bus stop where a woman was sitting. "I'm sorry to disturb you," he began, attracting the woman's attention, "but who do you think is cuter? Me or the baby?"

The woman looked slightly confused, and was unsure about how to answer so she went for the safe bet as she slid further away from the two men, "The baby…"

Ianto grinned triumphantly and put the baby back in the trolley as he pushed it away, pulling Jack along with him, "You can stop harassing innocent bystanders now."

Jack was pouting in despair as he trailed behind, "I'm becoming a kept man. I'm becoming less attractive…"

Ianto rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to Jack's lips, "It's okay; I find you sexy no matter what."

"No matter what?" Jack parroted with a lecherous grin as he opened the boot and started unloading the goods into the back of the SUV.

Ianto's voice carried from where he was strapping the car seat into the car, "Well, not when you're dead, obviously."

"Obviously," Jack said amused, and then left the empty trolley in the bay next to the SUV before he climbed into the driver's seat, "though, I am kinda disappointed."

"Don't be," Ianto said, joking, as he turned round to check on the baby, "can you imagine if you came back from a gunshot wound and found your cock up my arse?"

Jack smiled at how crude Ianto got when he was tired, "That would be a welcome surprise."

"It's also highly illegal and frowned upon," Ianto muttered, "not to mention gross."

"Does it really worry you when I die?" asked Jack, his attention more on Ianto than the empty road.

Ianto was brutally honest, "Yes. I know it doesn't really worry you, but every time I see you die I get so worried that you're luck's going to run out and you won't come back. It breaks my heart."

Jack smiled sadly, his left hand groping for Ianto's and squeezing it tightly, "Dying isn't a bed of roses for me either." He turned his head to flash a smile at Ianto, "The fact that I know you're there and I'll wake up in your arms generally makes it all better."

"Generally?"

Jack's smile grew to a grin, "Well, feeling loved is one thing, but it doesn't get rid of a killer headache."

"It will next time I get a hold of you," Ianto muttered.

Jack glanced at the baby in the back of the car meaningfully, "Don't make promises you can't keep. Babies take a toll on the sex life off their parents."

* * *

"Fucking travel cot," Jack muttered as he struggled to assemble the thing which had far too many bars and not enough screws.

In the kitchen, Ianto struggled to stop the baby crying. "I've fed you, your nappies dry; what more can I do for you?"

"Hey, Ianto!" Jack called from Ianto's bedroom, "Try singing to her."

Ianto sighed, what could he lose? He sat down on the sofa and cradled her to his chest, "Rock a bye baby, in the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock…"

Back in the bedroom,, Jack threw the bits of the cot into a corner and walked into the sitting room, "Ianto, she's going to have to sleep in a draw because that cot—"

He stopped seeing that Ianto's head had lolled to the side on the sofa. He walked round to the front, to see the baby was awake, but staring at Ianto's face.

"Right, you," he said as he lifted her out of Ianto's arms, "we're going to let Daddy get some sleep." She began to fuss. "No, no, no," he whispered as he rocked her, "you're not going to wake your Daddy up; you are going to either stay awake and be quiet or go to sleep and be quiet."

She stared at him a moment longer before she yawned and Jack knew she was going to fall asleep soon so he took her into the bedroom. "You're going to sleep in here, right here for now." He placed her flat on the bed and then used the pillows to build a fort around her to stop her rolling around. "I'm going to get your Daddy and then I'll be right back, okay?"

Jack slid his arms under Ianto, carried him into the bedroom before he stripped him down to his underpants and put him in the bed.

"I'm never going to leave you," Jack whispered as he stroked Ianto's hair, "I couldn't." He smiled as he remembered the conversation that he had with Ianto earlier. "It would break my heart."

Then he slipped out the room, and started unpacking and assembling all the things they had bought, so in the morning Ianto would find his flat just the way he liked it when he woke up: tidy.

* * *

The baby woke up at five o'clock in the morning, crying and Jack, who had been watching late night (morning) television, hurried into the bedroom to sort her out.

Ianto woke up as Jack had picked the baby up, "What's happening?"

"Nothing," Jack cradled the baby in his arms, "you go back to sleep. I've got her."

Ianto nodded sleepily and smiled, "Thanks Jack."

Jack rocked the baby as he left the room, smiling as she quietened down. "So you're not hungry…" he checked her nappy, "and you don't need changing."

He held up to his face so that their noses were rubbing, "So, why are you awake?" He sighed as she stared at him, and then carefully lay down on the sofa with the baby positioned so that her head was supported and she could see the TV. "Well, it doesn't matter now. This is BBC Three and this is Family Guy."


	6. taking time out to forget

Four hours later, Ianto woke up. Rubbing his eyes blearily, he wondered into the sitting room, clad only in his boxers from the previous day to find Jack with the baby resting on his lap while surfing the Internet on the laptop.

"Morning," Jack said, turning round and standing up to greet Ianto properly by dropping a kiss on his lips, "how're you feeling?"

"Not bad," admitted Ianto, burying his head in Jack's neck. "I just want to get back into that bed with you, and not come out for the entire weekend." He moved his mouth up to bite Jack's ear gently and lined his body up with Jack so that the other man could feel his morning wood.

Jack chuckled and let Ianto work his way round his body before he came to a stop and looked down at the bundle in Jack's arms, "So it wasn't a dream?"

Ianto let Jack pass the baby into his arms and set about making coffee in the kitchen for the both of them. "So," Jack began as he leaned against the counter, "what are we doing today?"

"Well, what I _was_ planning is going to have to be postponed," Ianto said ruefully, thinking of how his plans had involved his bedroom, or more importantly his bed, and nakedness. "We have to sort out a nursery for her in the spare room."

Jack frowned and looked around the flat. "You have a spare room?"

"Sure," Ianto said, grateful as Jack took over handling the hot water so that the baby wasn't at risk, "What did you think was behind that door?" He pointed at a nondescript door on his right.

Jack shrugged, "Storage or something. I always assumed it was a cupboard." He handed Ianto his mug of coffee.

"Let's go have a look then," Ianto suggested, indicating that Jack should follow him with a nod of his head.

Jack opened the door and was surprised to see quite a spacious room with a large window and a door which presumably led to an _en_ _suite_. The baby gurgled happily in Ianto's arms, apparently satisfied with her future living arrangements.

"Well, how are we going to do this?" Jack said, sitting on the bed, which had a good view out of the window.

Ianto looked around the room before he sat onto the bed next to Jack. "I think we need to clear out the room first. I mean, the colour's fine, and we just need to get rid of the bed and replace it with a cot."

Jack nodded in agreement before he turned round and drew Ianto into his arms, offering him support. "It also needs a good clean."

Ianto raised both eyebrows in surprise. "Wow, Jack, I never thought I'd hear you say that."

Jack chuckled, sipping his coffee complacently. "Yeah—well, nor did I."

"Hmm." Ianto stood up, having finished his coffee. "Well, I'd better put the baby down… How long has she been awake?"

"Erm, what time is it now?" Jack looked at his wrist strap, "It's nine fifteen, so she's been awake for around four hours…"

Ianto nodded, "Perfect. She should be sleepy by now."

"How about," Jack began as he followed Ianto out the room, "I'll get her bottle ready, you go spend some time with her."

Ianto turned round to face Jack. "'S okay; I've got to unpack the boxes from last night."

"I've done that already," Jack told him, dropping a kiss on Ianto's face and patting his bum fondly. "You go sit down, I'll be right there with the milk."

Ianto sat down on the sofa, cradling the baby as he glanced at the laptop screen.

"What have you been working on, Jack?" he asked curiously, aware that it wasn't like Jack to do work outside of work. Or voluntarily.

"I was curious about baby development," Jack called from the kitchen, "Just wanted to see how long it was before we got her first smile."

Ianto read aloud from the screen, "At two weeks old, the baby will be able to identify and differentiate the smell of your own breast milk from that of other mothers."

Jack handed Ianto the bottle as he sat next to the man and wrapped his arm around his still bare shoulders. "Hmm," he said with a speculative tone, "I don't think it applies to you somehow."

"I think I've had enough of being a woman for one day," Ianto muttered, suppressing a shudder.

Jack slid his hand lower down Ianto's chest, grinning wickedly. "As I recall, it lasted a week," he purred, stroking lazy circles, "and I quite liked your breasts."

"I know you did," Ianto snorted, and turned his attention back to the laptop screen, ignoring Jack's advances as well as he could. Unfortunately, as was often the case with Jack, he forgot how little he was wearing and his half-mast arousal tented his boxers. "They can also see around twenty to thirty centimetres…" He trailed off, Jack's hand distracting him, and groaned. "Can I at least put the baby down first?" he asked hopefully.

"You can put the baby where _you _want," Jack whispered as he leaned in close to Ianto's ear, "just as long as you let me do what _I_ want_._"

Ianto looked round quickly, "Where's the cot?"

Jack growled as he remembered the difficulty he had had in putting it together; it had taken him half the night. "That cot was more trouble than it was worth," he grumbled, removing all of his appendages from Ianto reluctantly. "Let me move it into her new room so that we don't wake her up."

Ianto stood up, winding the baby as Owen had instructed him yesterday, wandering round his flat. She did a tiny burp and Ianto heard Jack snicker as he praised her. "You definitely are my child aren't you?"

* * *

Two hours later, Jack lay on the bed, thoroughly exhausted, closer to sleep than he had been ever since he became immortal.

Ianto was quiet knowing that Jack was trying to sleep, so he just basked in the post orgasmic bliss that had settled over them. He looked at the hand that was inches way from his face, and wondered what kind of future they could have together.

Jack obviously wanted a role in his daughter's life, but hinting wasn't enough. They'd have to talk about it soon. Would Jack "adopt" her? How could someone who didn't exist adopt a child?

Jack stretched and Ianto turned over, unafraid to move now that he knew Jack had not succeeded in falling asleep. "Why do you think that I can't sleep?"

Ianto smiled and pressed his forehead to Jack's, "Maybe… it's because you're so full of—" He reached down to grab Jack's growing erection, "—life."

Jack raised his eyebrows at Ianto's behaviour.

"I think this baby's making me horny," Ianto mused, "all those parent hormones…"

Jack snorted, "What hormones? You're just horny 'cos you find me insatiable."

Ianto wasn't surprised Jack had seen through him, and instead of answering, reached up for a kiss prompting round three of the morning.


	7. this universe we cannot control

Twenty minutes later, Ianto found himself in the shower, still wondering about Jack. Babies were a huge responsibility; would Jack still want him? Sure, guys could use babies to pick up girls, but other guys weren't generally into the commitment thing. But then Jack was no ordinary man. Speaking of which, the man definitely knew something about where she'd come from. He'd not questioned her presence here or the million to one odds of this kind of thing happening. Nor was he in the least bit suspicious.

Sighing and resolving to talk with Jack about the baby issue sometime _soon, _he shook out his wet hair and then stepped out of the shower to see his lover standing in front of the mirror, naked, with the baby and waiting for him.

"Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear…" Jack looked up from drawing circles on the baby's hand, having noticed the water had stopped. "You're done! I need a shower. The scent of a man is very strong around—"

"Jack!" interrupted Ianto, scandalised, "I'm naked!"

"Now, Ianto," Jack began knowingly, with a lecherous grin, "I know you've been horny lately but we can't have sex in front of the baby. That's just wrong."

Ianto gave up the point that he had been about to make about nudity and the baby but gave up, settling for: "Just pass me my towel, please…"

"Sure thing," Jack grinned, passing along the towel before refocusing his attention onto the baby, trying to take his mind off a wet and naked Ianto. "I think she likes it when I sing to her; I have a lovely singing voice, you know?"

He looked up to see that Ianto had dried up and was smiling as he watched Jack interact with the baby. Not wanting to analyse the feelings in his chest, he hurriedly passed the baby off to Ianto then stepped into the shower to have some alone time.

"So," Ianto announced to the baby lying on his bed as he got dressed, "why did you wake up, huh? Did you miss your daddy?"

He paused as he just watched the bundle on the bed, almost waiting for her to interrupt, before he swept her up into his arms. "Of course you did… Maybe you're hungry?" He wandered across the sitting room and into the kitchen, knowing that Jack would be a while after having seen the man's erection, and emptied the ready-to-use formula in the bottle before he put it into the baby warmer.

Remembering what he'd read off the website (about how singing nursery rhymes were soothing for the baby) yesterday before Jack had distracted him, he took a cue from his blue eyed lover and started to sing his old favourite under his breath, "Mae gen i dý cysurus, a melin newydd sbon. A thair o wartheg brithion yn pori ar y fron…"

He was going through the chorus a second time as he fed his daughter, when Jack's voice startled him, "You are one sexy baby daddy."

Ianto rolled his eyes as he turned to face Jack sitting behind the counter on a bar stool. "She is especially handy on Friday nights when I go out on the pull."

Jack laughed, "You sound like Owen."

"I don't know if I should be insulted or creeped out," Ianto said, making a face and repositioning the baby onto his shoulder to burp her, before he walked round the counter to face Jack. "How about you make us lunch, I'll change her and put her down."

"You want me to cook?" Jack asked, filled with disbelief, "_I'll_ change the baby and put her down, and _you_ can cook."

Ianto was more than happy to hand her off, remembering the smell of the mess in the nappy last time, "I can't believe you volunteered for that. We're going to have to make sure she doesn't swallow anything when she gets older otherwise it'd be like panning for gold."

Jack laughed as he swiped a nappy and headed into the bathroom.

* * *

"This is the closest thing we've had to a date in a long time," Ianto said softly, as Jack poured him a glass of wine.

Jack smiled as he poured his own glass of wine, "She's the only reason they haven't disturbed us, you know."

"_She_ also needs a name," Ianto added before he ate a mouthful of pasta.

Jack nodded in agreement, more eagerly than Ianto had anticipated. "So what were you thinking of calling her?"

"I don't know," Ianto said, shrugging, "but she needs a name and fast—it's a bit ridiculous for us to keep calling her 'The Baby'."

"Well, what kind of name were you going for?" Jack asked as he stabbed a couple of bits of pasta with his fork. "I know a lot of unusual ones."

Ianto ate another mouthful, "Tell me what you got."

"Jessamine was the first one that sprung to mind, actually, when I first saw her." Jack admitted, "She reminds me of this woman I used to know. I stayed on her ship for a while; very no nonsense." He laughed at an old memory, "It's Persian for jasmine, as in the flower." He looked at Ianto's raised eyebrow and sighed. "Never mind…"

"I don't mind it," Ianto said hurriedly in his defence, "it's a nice name… It's just a big name for a little girl."

Jack nodded and took another bite out of his meal as Ianto continued, "How about we stick to simpler names?"

"Well, where do you want to start?" asked Jack, "I know hundreds of names…"

"You suggest," Ianto said as he scraped the remnants of his meal to the side of his plate, "and I'll tell you which I like."

"Erm, let's see," Jack scooped the last of the pasta into his mouth, then sat back and continued, "Naomi, Natasha, Nicole, Nina, Nadine, Nancy…"

"_Nancy_?" Ianto interrupted, horrified, "If I'm her dad and we call her Nancy, that's just asking for trouble."

Jack frowned as he saw the potential problems they had, "Beatrice, Belinda, Beloved, Bethany, Bailey…"

He stopped as Ianto laughed, "Bailey is a definite no. It'd be like naming her Cinzano or something."

"I never said _I_ liked the names," Jack said as he chuckled at the point Ianto had made, "they're just names I know."

Ianto frowned and swivelled around on the bar stool to face him, "You want me to name my child a name you don't like?"

This time it was Jack's turn to frown, taken pleasantly aback. "My opinion matters that much?"

Ianto pushed his empty plate away and turned to face Jack as their talk took a serious turn. "Only if you want it to," he murmured softly.

Jack opened his mouth to have that talk that they seriously needed and Ianto leaned in as the conversation became more intimate. Not wanting to talk about their relationship just yet, he headed into safer waters, "I think Cerys is a nice name and it would suit her."

Ianto leaned back and stared at him questioningly so Jack quickly expanded, "It means love."

And then Ianto smiled at him, not one of his unusual carefree grins that Jack suspected he was the only he allowed to see, but a heart-warming, breathtaking smile and Jack suddenly knew that if ever he walked away from this man, ever left him, he'd be making the biggest mistake of his life.

* * *

Translation:

I have a cosy cottage,  
A newly built mill.  
And three contented dappled cows  
Are grazing on the hill.


	8. i would love to love you

"Maybe Cerys could be her middle name," Ianto allowed, "I see it more as a trait than anything; it'd be like naming her Honesty or something!"

Jack smiled at that, before starting to rattle off names again. "Erm, there's Charlotte, Megan, Mica…"

"Can't do Charlotte or Mica," Ianto interrupted quickly. "Mica's the name of my niece and I used to date a girl named Charlotte."

Jack raised an eyebrow at this insight into Ianto's past, "You used to date much?"

"As much as the next guy," Ianto shrugged.

Jack probed a bit more, "And, er, what kind of girls did you go for?"

"Leggy, blue eyed, brunettes," Ianto said with a mischievous smile, "but who says it was just girls?"

Jack's eyes widened in shock surprised to find himself jealous and Ianto laughed. "A _lot _of things happened in university, Jack," he grinned, but changed the subject promptly, pulling Jack out of his wild fantasies about Ianto in university, "So what do you think of a Welsh name? I think it'd feel kinda wrong to name her anything but; Mam would be rolling in her grave."

Jack knew when his battles were lost and sighed as he realised he wasn't going to get anything else out of Ianto. "What about Jennifer? It's a variation of the Welsh name Guinevere, you know."

"I don't know," Ianto said speculatively, "it just doesn't feel right. Besides, I have an aunt named Jennifer and whenever me and Rhi went round to her house when we were little she used to force these mouldy crisps on us and pretend the mould was chives."

Jack laughed at that, "If we're going to stick with Welsh names, what about Gwendolyn? It means 'white ring'. Or Ariana? That's a Welsh name too, I think."

"Hmmm," Ianto said as he took the plates, then walked round the counter to stack them in the dishwasher. "Ariana's quite nice. Though it sounds more Greek than anything else."

"What about Grace then?" Jack suggested, beginning to get tired of the name-game, "It means blessing or favour."

Ianto smiled again at that, "I like it." He drained his wine glass, "She looks like a Grace…"

"Grace Jones does sound like the name of a movie star," Jack said with a smile as he helped to clean up the kitchen.

Ianto corrected him, "Grace Jones _is_ a real person. She's a singer, actress and model."

"She's multi-talented," Jack smirked, "I like her already."

"Let's hope _our_ Grace is just as successful," Ianto muttered.

"Or as multi-talented as her father," Jack added as he got distracted from the dishes, and sneaked up on Ianto.

"Well, that's out the way," Jack said, relieved, as he and Ianto relocated to the sofa.

Ianto looked at his watch tiredly. "And Grace's going to be up soon." He looked at Jack, "It feels weird saying her name, you know?"

"I know," Jack said as he dropped a kiss on Ianto's face and wrapped his arm around the younger man's shoulders.

"I'm going to order some furniture online for the nursery," Ianto said as grabbed the laptop off the coffee table.

Jack agreed, "Anything I can do to help?"

"You can give me your opinion," Ianto smiled, "and I need to ask you a few questions; there are a couple of things I don't understand."

"Well," Jack said with a lecherous grin, "when a man and a woman love each other very much…"

Ianto swatted Jack on the arm as he logged onto the _Mamas and Papas_ website. "I know you know more than I do about her, about where she came from I mean."

Jack sighed, glad that Ianto wasn't pressing him about their relationship, "I don't know anything definite, but _I_ think she's from a parallel world."

"Parallel world?" Ianto echoed, looking perplexed.

"I'm surprised as you are that something came through from one of them, but obviously, in that world you and Lisa were a couple. Now, I don't know if that's because the battle of Canary Wharf didn't happen, or if the two of you left Torchwood. For all I know, they could be dead and she's an orphan…"

He trailed off, seeing that Ianto was on the verge of panicking so he grabbed his face in his hands, "Look, it doesn't matter where she's from. What matters is here and now. The walls on parallel worlds are generally very tight so it's a wonder she managed to slip through at all. The odds that she could go back or that someone else could get through are so small there'd be no point in calculating it. All they'd want is for her to be loved and to have a good life and that's where you come in."

He kissed Ianto's forehead. "You are one of the kindest, caring men I have ever met in my life. You are overqualified to be a parent and that's what you are now. A father to a little girl who needs you."

As if on cue, Grace woke up and started crying.

"Thank you," Ianto muttered, as he started rocking her car seat, "for being honest."

He chuckled as Jack spluttered at the accusation, and added, "And for telling me everything you know."

"Which in this instance is nothing," Jack sighed and moved away from Ianto, forcing a rueful smile. "I feel so useless."

"You're everything but useless," Ianto protested.

Jack raised his eyebrows, "Everything but?"

Ianto smiled and nodded, and Jack grinned brightly. "So that means I'm smart, sexy…" He winked at Ianto, "…devilishly charming, sophisticated, talented, pleasant, witty…"

"Pleasant?" Ianto repeated incredulously, "You're anything but." He reached down to pick up Grace. "Your manners in bed are terrible!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack said defensively, "There's no etiquette for post-orgasmic bliss in the bed."

"And there's no excuse for eating a sandwich while having sex."

Jack smiled at the memory, "I meant to go and get the chocolate spread but I got distracted."

"Well, that fantasy's going to have to wait a couple of months. I think we're going to need more than four hours to act that one out," Ianto sighed and lowered his voice as he stood up to change Grace, "That is, if you're still around by then."

Jack stared at Ianto's retreating back before he rested his head in hands.

It was only when an awkward silence had settled between the two of them in the evening that Jack decided to bite the bullet and talk to Ianto about their relationship.

"Ianto," Jack began as he glanced at the baby slumbering between the two of them on the sofa, "I— things are moving very fast for me, I mean, I was never in any doubt about how I felt, feel about you. You are my w-." He paused and took a deep breath, "you are very, very important to me and you know what, you've changed me. I'm a different person because of you and I like that _so_ much. And I want you to know that nothing's changed between us. Well, it has really, but—"

"Jack," interrupted Ianto, "you've got five words to finish your sentence—you're not making any sense."

Jack cleared his throat nervously before he shuffled across the sofa to take Ianto's hands in his, "I wanna adopt the baby."


	9. give me something to look forward to

"It's weird when you do that," Ianto murmured as he rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow.

Jack smiled but didn't move, "When I do what?"

"When you stare," mumbled Ianto as he rolled again to face Jack. "It's almost creepy."

"Almost?"

Ianto propped himself up on his elbow, and grinned. "You are many things, Captain Harkness, but creepy is not one of them."

"So you're taking orders now, Officer?"

"Why am I the lowest rank?" complained Ianto, "Why couldn't I be a Lieutenant?"

"You should just be grateful I'm your Captain," Jack said.

"Oh Captain, my Captain," murmured Ianto as Jack shifted closer so that their faces were inches from each other.

"I never thought I'd be able to say it again," Jack remarked, examining Ianto's eyes closely, "I can say it now. No problem. Whatsoever."

Ianto raised his finger to Jack's lips and shook his head. "Don't say it, not just yet." He saw the hurt in Jack's eyes and added quickly, "It's not that I don't feel the same, I mean, how could I not? It's just that I've been waiting for this moment a long time. And now just isn't it."

Jack frowned as his gaze turned questioning. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I want to save it for a rainy day. That—" He cut himself off and smiled.

"What?" Jack asked.

Ianto pulled him closer, "Shut up and kiss me."

And Jack happily obliged.

* * *

"Does this mean we can't have sex this evening?" Jack asked, completely spent.

Ianto shrugged, "I don't see why not." He rolled over. "You know, I've never thought I'd say this but I really _don't_ want to go back to work tomorrow."

Jack smiled, "You sound like you've had a really long holiday. You only had yesterday off."

"So did you," mumbled Ianto from his pillow. "Still, the longer I leave it, the more backlog I'll have to work my way through."

"I do miss the team," Jack admitted.

"I know what you mean," agreed Ianto, "we spend so much time at work that sometimes I feel like I live with them. Especially when Owen leaves his clothes lying around."

"Owen leaves clothes lying around?" Jack repeated incredulously, raising his eyebrows. "What does that man get up to?"

"I have a theory," Ianto began, "that he gets drunk and with each beer that he drinks, Janet starts to look more and more attractive. So one thing leads to another and…"

"Stop!" Jack interrupted, "I know you're just making that up to terrorise me with mental images of a semi naked Owen trying to seduce Janet."

Ianto laughed, "Can you imagine if she rejected him?"

"Only Owen," Jack muttered, shaking his head as he moved over to Ianto's side of the bed, invading his personal space.

There was silence for a few moments before Ianto sighed and he buried his head into his pillow, "I don't want to go back to work," he groaned, "I want to spend more time with Grace. And you. She's amazing, you know? She's learning something new every day. I'm one hundred per cent certain she recognises us now…" He trailed off, turning to face Jack. "Sorry, I'm babbling again, huh?"

"I find it cute," Jack replied as he dropped a kiss on to Ianto's face "And it's good to see that she makes you happy."

"She makes anyone happy till she's sick on them," Ianto muttered, a little bitterly, having been subjected to some of Grace's many projectiles yesterday.

"Or until she shits," Jack added, shuddering lightly. "I don't think I've ever moved so fast in my life."

Ianto laughed and rolled over to wrap himself around Jack. Before he could, however, there was a noise on the baby monitor as Grace woke up then started crying.

"I'll go," Jack volunteered immediately, moving to sit up.

Ianto snorted, and pushed the man back to bed, clambering out himself. "No you don't—you're going to bring her back in here and then she'll learn to cry to get in here." He shook his head, "It's not good."

Jack smiled and shook his head also, leaning back contentedly into the pillows.

But when Ianto didn't return five minutes later, he left the warmth of the bed in search of him. He found him in Grace's room staring at her sleeping in her travel cot.

Ianto turned around as he heard Jack's footsteps behind him, "How long have I been gone? I mean, I know she's gone back to sleep, but I couldn't leave her."

"She's a little miracle isn't she?" Jack whispered.

Ianto corrected him, "_Our_ little miracle."

Jack smiled and wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist as he rested his head on his shoulder.


	10. where the river goes

"If we leave now," Ianto reasoned as he did his tie up, "then we'll be in before the team."

Jack continued his sentence from the warmth of the bed, his voice muffled by the covers, "And if we're in before the team, we can't make a grand entrance."

"I don't want to make a grand entrance," argued Ianto, stepping over to the bed and whipping the quilt off Jack, revealing all (which almost made him want to climb back into bed. Almost). "Now I'm going to dress Grace, by the time I'm back I want you up _and_ dressed."

"I have no problem getting _it _up," Jack muttered from the empty bed as he pouted.

Ianto rolled his eyes and pulled the gurgling baby out of her cot.

He looked down at the baby cradled against his chest and smiled, "You're not grumpy in the morning, are you? Actually," he paused as he grabbed a cracker off the kitchen counter to munch on, "I don't even know why he's grumpy since he doesn't even sleep."

"You take after me, don't you?" he pressed his finger to her nose and she gurgled, "You're an early riser, you've got blue eyes…"

He laid her out on the changing mat and checked her nappy (which was, thankfully, clean) before he put her in one of the many outfits that Jack had picked out.

"Ianto…?" Jack called from the kitchen, "You almost ready? I've made toast."

Ianto looked down at his daughter and smiled before he walked out to join Jack in the kitchen. "And we are ready to go."

Jack complained, "But we haven't eaten breakfast yet."

Ianto rolled his eyes at how Jack's life revolved around food when he got his mind off sex. "We can eat it in the car, otherwise we're going to be late."

"Late?" Jack repeated incredulously, "It's seven twenty! We'll be there in ten minutes."

* * *

"So the man was in my mouth for three minutes and—"

"Sounds saucy," Jack said as the door to the Hub rolled open and he appeared, looking strangely martial (if you overlooked the changing bag he had on his shoulder), "but why are you lot in this early?"

"Er, no reason," Gwen and Tosh muttered as they moved over to the other side of the Hub to welcome Jack and Ianto.

"We had a heavy workload last weekend and we wanted to get on top of the paperwork," lied Tosh. Gwen came up behind her and nodded far too quickly to appear convincing.

Jack stared at them for a long minute. "Liars," he murmured accusingly before he walked past them to find Owen.

Ianto followed a couple of minutes later, cuddling the baby to his chest and holding an empty car seat in his free hand.

"So," Gwen said, startling Ianto who had been engrossed in the baby. "What's she called?"

Ianto smiled and passed her the baby, "Her name is Grace. Grace Jones."

"That's a perfect name," Tosh said as she fussed over the baby, "she's gorgeous. Gosh, Ianto, you're so lucky."

"Thanks," Ianto muttered, gratefully leaving the baby in their care, and went to find Jack.

Owen appeared in front of him, ascending the stairs from the Autopsy Bay and peeling off his plastic gloves with an audible snap, "Where's the baby?"

"What have you been dissecting?" Ianto raised an eyebrow.

Owen shrugged. "Weevil."

"Well, _after_ you've washed your hands I'll tell you where Grace is," replied Ianto, and was surprised as Owen traipsed back down the stairs to wash his hands, not having expected the other man to listen to him.

* * *

"This is so weird," Ianto muttered as he dumped Grace's car seat on Jack's desk.

Jack looked up from his magazine slowly, "What?"

"Owen's fawning over Grace." He paused, glancing behind him and making out the figures of Tosh and Gwen crowded around Grace, "actually, everyone is."

"And why is that weird?" Jack transferred his attention back to the magazine, "She is kinda fawnable."

Ianto frowned, "Fawnable?" He shook his head, and refocused on Jack, "What _are_ you reading?"

Jack smiled and proudly held up his magazine for Ianto to see. Ianto spluttered in disbelief: "_Baby and Pregnancy_? Why are you reading that? And when did you get it?"

"I ordered it online over the weekend." Jack said smugly as he leaned back in his chair, watching Ianto flick through it.

"So, this is kind of handy," conceded Ianto, "but you're paying for it."

Jack grinned.

* * *

"Anybody got anything else to report?" Jack asked as the daily meeting drew to an end.

Ianto looked up, "Actually, I want to make a proposition."

"And I keep telling you," interrupted Owen swiftly, "that the board room is not the time or place."

"Or in front of us," added Gwen, making a face.

Ianto ignored them, pretending not to notice Jack's guffaws in the background. "I want to baby-proof this place as soon as possible and I would like some help, just to make things easier."

"I wouldn't mind," Tosh volunteered.

"Or me," Gwen added as she nodded her head.

Owen sipped his coffee as he stood up before he muttered, "And, er, I'll do the autopsy bay."

"Sorry," Ianto said teasingly, "what was that?"

Owen sighed from the door, "I said I'd do the autopsy bay—I don't want any of you meddling with my things."

Jack and Ianto shared a knowing look.

"You just don't want anyone to steal your beer," Jack muttered as he too stood up, signalling that the meeting had ended.

Owen pretended not to hear that last bit.

The rest of the team followed, traipsing slowly down the stairs.

"So Ianto, Jack, got any plans this weekend?" Gwen asked casually.

Jack was curious, "What d'ya have in mind?"

"I was thinking swimming," she replied as she made her way over to her workstation, "apparently bare skin contact is good for babies and the sooner she learns to swim, the better, really."

Ianto looked horrified and shook his head violently but discreetly at Jack.

"Sure thing," Jack agreed readily, resolving to talk with Ianto later.

"Great!" Gwen said as she pulled out her phone to text Rhys, "I'll get her a swimming costume."

Jack exchanged another look with Ianto.

"What's her middle name?" Tosh asked from her workstation, "You never told us."

Ianto shifted Grace in his arms, "C—"

"Katherine?" Gwen interrupted eagerly.

Tosh made her own suggestion, "What about Katrina?"

"How about," Owen began as he walked over to Gwen's desk to steal a packet of crisps, "Clitorina?"

Jack laughed, "And now we know why we spend your time staring at women's crotches."


	11. Chapter 11

"Grace is not going swimming," Ianto said resolutely as he looked down at the baby in his arms.

Jack watched from across his desk as Ianto stared at Grace, "Why not?"

"She might drown," replied Ianto making a list with his fingers, "she might pick up an infection, one of us might slip while holding her, she might hurt herself, she might drown, she doesn—"

Jack shook his head with amusement, "So you're worried that she might hurt herself."

Ianto nodded.

"Which makes sense right, because they are all things that _could_ happen."

Ianto nodded again, unaware that he was tightening his grip on his daughter.

"But," Jack continued calmly, "none of that is going to happen, because I'm going to be there, and so are you, and Gwen, and Rhys.

"So really, what could go wrong? Besides," he shrugged, "if anything does happen I can use my Wrist-Strap and we can do a do-over."

Ianto laughed and Jack moved round the desk to give him a hug.

"Erm, Jack," Ianto said as Jack smothered him, "Don't forget that I am holding Grace."

Jack sighed and looked down at the baby to find her staring at him reproachfully, "I knew we should have got that bouncer."

"What? So anytime you want to get intimate, we just put her in the bouncer?"

"Or get one of the team to look after her."

Ianto nodded, "I'm liking it. It'd be kinda weird if we just turned her round to face the window while we had sex behind her."

Jack agreed, "You're telling me," he reached down to fondle Ianto's bum, "though it is an idea."

"No!" Ianto smacked his hand away, "It'd be wrong! And you know what? One day you might look up and see that she's turned round and she's watching us have sex."

At this point, Grace began to cry and Ianto began to bounce up and down on the spot in an attempt to soothe her.

"See?" Ianto narrowed his eyes, "She understands all the tortures that you're planning to put her through!"

"Or maybe she needs to go to the toilet," Jack cringed, and nudged Ianto to show him the pee that was dripping through her nappy and onto an important looking file on his desk.

"So?" Gwen said as she and Tosh sat down on either end of the sofa, trapping Ianto between them.

"So what?" asked Ianto, beginning to get nervous. He shifted uncomfortably, and moved to get up, but the two women swooped down on him mercilessly, seizing his arms and forcefully pulling him back down..

"How're things between you and Jack?" Tosh asked.

"Well," Ianto grinned, "It's all on the _up_."

Gwen smacked him on the arm, "That's terrible."

"You asked," Ianto muttered as he shrugged, "So, what do you two want to know? And how much can I not tell you before you stop pestering me?"

"Everything," said Gwen firmly. "Tell us _everything_."

He sighed as he realised that the two wouldn't let him go until he gave some gossip. "So, we're staying together and he's going to be a parent figure to Grace."

"That's such good news!" Tosh said, smiling as she'd known how insecure Ianto had been feeling about Jack.

Gwen nodded, "Grace is going to be lucky to have two parents that love her."

"So is that it?" Ianto asked hopefully, "You two are done with your interrogation?"

"That wasn't an interrogation," Gwen muttered as she stood up, disappointed that she didn't get any real gossip, "we asked you one question and you answered it. It was almost Blind Date."

Tosh nodded in agreement as she watched Gwen disappear, "You got off lucky that time."

"I know."

"And you know we're going to be asking you more details soon, right?" Tosh added, smirking uncharacteristically.

Ianto sighed and ignored her question, "So, how are you Tosh? We haven't had really talked since Friday, but it seems a lot longer than that."

"Tell me about it," Tosh said, sighing, "we were run ragged on Saturday without you two."

"Sorry about that," Ianto apologised ruefully, "I didn't realise it'd be so hectic. I'm off tomorrow too, some people are coming to empty my spare room."

Tosh smiled at her friend, "Don't worry about it. Seriously. Grace should be your number one priority now and if it means that I have to pull a couple of extra shifts for you, it's worth it."

"Thanks, Tosh," Ianto said, genuinely pleased that he'd made such a good friend, "You're ace, you know?"

"I know," Tosh said brightly as she stood up and smoothed out her skirt, "I also happen to have a date tonight too."

Ianto watched her leave before he glanced up at the hot house to see Jack laughing at him.

"People think you do _work_ down here, you know?" Owen announced, walking into the Archives and shaking his head at seeing Ianto sitting with his feet propped up on a desk, reading Jack's magazine.

"I do," Ianto said by way of acknowledging Owen's presence, "when I have some, and at the moment, the rift's been quiet so nothing's come in."

Owen disagreed with him, "You should have seen it on Saturday, mate."

Ianto ignored him and looked up over his magazine, surprised to see that he was holding Grace, and offered, "Crisp?"

"No thanks," Owen said, "I'm leaving room for lunch."

"And when has that ever stopped you before?" Ianto asked, smiling.

Owen paused, "I came down here to give you Grace, Jack's just changed her, but I'm off to lunch now."

Ianto reached out for his daughter, who looked slightly disgruntled about being passed around like a parcel at a party, and made mournful-sounding gurgles to express her displeasure. "Thanks, Owen."

"It's not a problem," Owen mumbled as he headed back to the stairs, "and if you, er, ever need a babysitter, you can, er, give me a ring."

Ianto raised an eyebrow, "Don't forget to take your boxers out the microwave. I hope they're clean."

"They're in the microwave?" Owen asked as he paused on the steps, looking perplexed. "I've been looking for them, when the fuck did they get there?"

"You're asking me?" Ianto said, snorting, "I'm not the one who got drunk and tried to seduce Janet."

Owen blushed furiously, turning a lovely shade of crimson. "That happened once. A very long time ago. And I was very, very drunk."

"Whatever, you should just be grateful I was working late," Ianto shrugged, "You owe me for saving your arse, Harper."

"You didn't save me!" Owen protested, "I was on top of the situation."

"Yes," Ianto remarked, snickering at the memory, "as I recall, on _top_ of it, you were. And I think that was the problem."


	12. Chapter 12

"How was your date Tosh?" asked Ianto as he walked into his kitchen, putting his comm. on his ear.

"Really good," Tosh said, sighing happily, "He's really nice, his name's James and he's a doctor."

Ianto raised an eyebrow at the similarities (similar_ity_ in reality) between him and Owen but didn't comment, "Sounds good to me."

"It was fantastic Ianto, I mean he's perfect—he's sweet, charming and hilarious." Tosh paused and lowered her voice, "I think he's The One." She paused and took a sip of her coffee. "Argh, this is frustrating, why aren't you coming in _before_ lunch? That way I could regale you with fantastic stories about him for an hour."

Ianto laughed, "What privileges I hold at work."

"Well I have to go," Tosh said, "I'm being pushed off the line."

There were two clicks and then there was a background buzz.

"I miss you already," Jack whined over the comms.

Ianto smirked, "Of course you do."

"I can hear that smirk Mr Jones," Jack said.

"And?" Ianto replied teasingly, "You're the one at work. I'm a free spirit, me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack asked, suspicious.

"Well maybe you could come at home at lunch." Ianto paused, "And bring my stopwatch with you."

Owen's voice cut into the conversation, "Hello?"

"Are you eavesdropping Owen?" Jack asked, amused at the situations that Owen seemed to find himself in.

Owen sounded horrified, "What the hell are you talking about? I was just taking a shower and my comm was buzzing on my bedside unit."

"Get your butt into work and buzz off then," Jack muttered as he fiddled with his Wrist-Strap.

Ianto heard a beep and then the buzzing in the background stopped.

"That was a terrible joke," he muttered as he moved Grace, who was asleep, into his bedroom. "And it was rude, you didn't even give him any warning."

Jack explained, "Well, I didn't want him to listen on us having phone sex."

"For the last time I'm not having phone sex with you…" Ianto paused as he dragged Grace's cot into his bedroom, "Well not on the comms anyway, can you imagine if you've got Gwen on the line like we did Owen?"

"Does it count as phone sex if it's on the comms?" Jack mused, ignoring Ianto's apprehension.

Ianto sighed, "What did I just say?"

"I'm wearing those briefs you like." Jack murmured sexily as he surveyed the empty Hub (and his reflection) from his office window.

Ianto descended into a coughing fit as he choked on his coffee. His voice was strained when he managed to speak again, "Really?"

Jack grinned, glad that he had Ianto's attention, "And what are you wearing Mr Jones?"

The front door knocked and Ianto jumped, swearing as he tripped over his shoes.

"Coming," he called as he checked that the flat was not as messy as it had been that morning.

"Oh how I wish you were." Jack muttered into his ear and it took nearly all of Ianto's willpower not to shiver at the stray fantasies that kept popping into his brain.

He opened the front door and looked at the men on either side, "You're here to collect the furniture?"

They nodded and walked into the hallway as the taller one handed him a clipboard, "Sign and print your name here."

"What are we getting rid of?" The shorter one with sandy hair asked.

"Erm," Ianto handed him the clipboard and pointed to the door to Grace's room. "all the furniture is in there."

They followed Ianto into the room and looked at the wardrobe and bed.

"Well, Tom," the tall, dark haired man said, "how'd you want to go about this?"

The shorter man, who Ianto had now learnt was called Tom, "I think we'll take the smaller one first, then the bigger one later?"

"Sure," the other man said, "sounds good to me."

"I'll go first with this bit, then you two take the bottom, okay Richard?"

Richard nodded and took that as his cue to take the mattress off the base.

Ianto whistled, "Is that going to fit in there?" He asked curiously, "It looks too big."

Richard surveyed the doorway as he lined the mattress up with it, "It'll fit, good thing there's no friction round here. It'll just slide right on through."

"Hurry up and do your thing," Tom called to Richard's retreating back, "This is going to be one heavy bugger and we might catch up with you."

Richard swore at the other man, but it was muffled through the walls. Tom laughed at how easy it was to wind the other man up before he ran a hand through his hair and winked at Ianto.

"Ready to get this fella moving?"

Ianto nodded and raised his eyebrows, slightly wary of how enthusiastic the other man was.

There was a thump as they tried to slide it over the stop at the bottom of the door and it landed on Tom's foot. "Shit, that hurt…"

Ianto looked, up concerned, grunting as he pulled the weight back to his side. "You ok?"

Tom frowned and pouted, reminding him of Jack, "Burns a little."

Ianto waited a moment before he suggested moving the furniture as he knew Grace was going to be up soon, "Just lift on the count of three and it'll be easier, one, two, three. Lift."

Tom pulled the base back towards him, guiding it across Ianto's kitchen and round the worktop corner, "Careful, it's a little tight here."

Ianto turned the base a bit more to the left, and pushed it out, until he was forced to turn it the opposite direction, "Wait, turn that way, bit more." He exhaled as they turned it to just the right angle to get it out the kitchen, "Just right."

"Slide it forward a bit…" Tom prompted as they slid it down the steps that led to his front door which was at a slightly lower level than the rest of the flat. "Bit more…"

"You got that end?" Ianto hesitated before he pushed the base down the stairs into Tom. He grunted as they lifted the base to get it out the front door. "I'm so glad I'm getting paid for this..."

The phone rang as Ianto counted the money the two men had left for him after hauling off the wardrobe.

"Ianto." Jack said. "What the hell was that?"

Ianto frowned and repeated his words, "What the hell was what?"

Jack mimicked Tom's earlier words, "Oooh, it burns a little… And the noises! It was like listening to porn."

Ianto raised an eyebrow, knowing that Jack was exaggerating, "You need to get over yourself ."

"And you need to hire some decent people to remove furniture in future," Jack muttered.

"If you were really worried," interrupted Ianto, "you would have been over here like a shot."

Jack mumbled something about CCTV being really handy and Ianto wondered what he'd got himself into. It was only later that evening when his musings became more literal than metaphorical.


	13. Chapter 13

"How's my favourite niece?" Tosh called as she came down the stairs to the Archives. "I have a present for her…"

Ianto smiled at Tosh's good mood, "Did James ring?"

"Yup," She put the gift bag on the desk, "we have another date tonight."

"Does this one finish with a happy ending?" Ianto asked innocently, "Much like the last one, as I remember…"

"Shut up," Tosh muttered, as she blushed and looked down, "Besides, how could you tell? I haven't told anyone about that."

Ianto shrugged, "You seemed _very_ happy yesterday morning." He handed Grace to Tosh, "So, what's in the bag?"

"Have a look," Tosh prompted as she rocked with Grace, who was falling asleep. "I didn't know what size to get, though."

Ianto shifted through the packaging, and finally pulled out a baby grow in a soft, white colour.

"Aw, Tosh, thanks," He held it out against Grace, and his smile was half perplexed and half amused. "It's lovely and, er, too small."

"Sorry," Tosh said apologetically, "I'll take it back as soon as I get the chance."

Ianto smiled warmly, tucking the baby grow back inside the bag. "Don't worry about it, we can take it back next week and exchange it for a bigger size. It really is lovely."

"She's fallen asleep," Tosh muttered, staring down at the sleeping baby in her arms, before she looked up again and blinked in awe. "She's gorgeous…"

"Wanna take her upstairs?" asked Ianto, grinning at how smitten Tosh found the sleeping Grace.

"Sure," Tosh said, moving off the desk and to the stairs, before she realised Ianto hadn't moved, "Coming?"

Ianto shook his head, "I think I might start doing some work now."

"Please come," Tosh insisted, "I'm afraid I might break her or something."

He shrugged. "Sure," Ianto agreed easily, as he walked up the stairs behind Tosh, "I fancied a cup of coffee anyway."

Tosh paused at the top of the stairs, her head bent down staring at the baby she was holding and turned to Ianto, "Erm, are babies supposed to do that?"

Ianto caught up with her and looked down with amusement at Grace who had twisted so that one of her arms was thrown back behind her head as if to support it. "I think she's just getting comfortable."

Tosh laughed, "You can tell already that she's going to be trouble. Two and a half weeks old and getting comfortable?" She handed the baby over to Ianto, "I feel for you and Jack, I really do."

Jack walked over to them from Gwen's desk, where they had been pointing out problems in their current case, "What's this commotion about?"

"You owe me a fiver," Ianto muttered, then said loudly, "Grace is sleeping wildly."

Jack ignored Ianto's subtlety, "Where's the evidence?"

"She told me," Ianto said smugly, rocking Grace in his arms.

"Who's she and what _are_ you talking about?" Tosh asked, crossing her arms across her chest and growing suspicious.

"We made a bet on Wednesday," Jack explained, feeling no shame whatsoever, "Ianto bet you got laid and I bet against it."

"I can't believe you two!" Tosh whispered fiercely, acutely aware that Grace was still asleep. "Making bets about my sex life for a fiver?! Really, to make it worthwhile they should be a hell of a lot more than that."

She turned to Ianto and winked at him with her right eye so Jack couldn't see, "I'm disappointed in you. Both of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves."

They stared at her back as she grabbed a bewildered looking Gwen (who had been absorbed in her work) and the two of them marched out the Hub, presumably for lunch.

"So, how about that fiver then?" Ianto asked cheekily, grinning at Jack, who had turned to look at Grace.

Jack ignored him in favour of Grace and scooped her out Ianto's arms, "Your daughter is unique. Really."

"_Our_ daughter," Ianto corrected. "She's yours too. Not by blood, but anyone can see you care for her as much as I do."

Jack grinned, kissing Ianto gently, and then transferred his attention back to his daughter. "I'm a very lucky man."

"With a very sexy partner," added Ianto.

Jack didn't say anything, content to just watch Grace, but frowned and looked up as a thought popped into his head, "You're not going to do that thing where she's your daughter when she's good as gold and she's mine when she does something naughty?"

Ianto looked at him and smiled mischievously, "Well, now that you mention it, yes."

"That's not fair, though," Jack grumbled, rolling his eyes. "Mind you, when were you ever fair?"

Ianto smiled and surreptitiously glanced both ways to make sure no-one was looking, and then sauntered off calling back in a sing-song voice (with hand actions), "That's the way I roll."

There was silence in the Hub for a few moments as Ianto went back downstairs to do some work and Jack went upstairs to his office to put Grace down.

There was a click as a fridge door was opened, then a yelp of surprise as the lack of contents surprised Owen.

"Who's been at my beer?"

"I can't believe you persuaded me to let you do this, Jack," Ianto said as he parked his car outside his flat, slightly anxious about going in.

Jack laughed, "Nor can I, to be honest. But it'll be a nice surprise. It's something I want to do. The best for Grace and all that."

"You don't have to explain your actions to me, Jack," Ianto muttered as he unbuckled her car seat and lifted her out the car. "Well, some of them, maybe."

"And which ones are we talking about?" asked Jack mischievously. His voice lowered and became more urgent, "Just come up soon, okay?"

"I don't know why you didn't just let me help you," Ianto grunted as he swung open the door with his hand and lugged baby and car seat through with his other arm.

"I don't trust the delivery men," Jack answered. "I know you say they were just removing furniture, but it sounded like they were delivering something too."

Ianto rolled his eyes as he stepped into the lift, "So what, you don't trust me?"

"Oh, I trust you," Jack replied casually, his voice loud in the lift, "I just don't trust other people."

"I'm outside the front door," Ianto said, closing off that aspect of their conversation.

Jack bounded to answer it and switched off his comm. "Welcome home, honey." He moved forward to give Ianto a welcoming kiss and took in his disgruntled expression at the pet-name.

Ianto rolled his eyes and passed Grace to Jack, who immediately started fussing over her. "You missed me today didn't you? I missed you too." He kissed her forehead and looked up at Ianto.

"Can I go and see the nursery now?" Ianto asked, feeling his own excitement rise.

Jack nodded as he caught Ianto's hand and pulled him towards Grace's room.

Ianto trailed behind Jack and wondered what exactly Jack had done apart from assembling the furniture.

He stepped into the room to see that Jack had pasted a border on the walls and pictures of teddy bears that matched the wood of the furniture. A matching lampshade, rug and curtains had been acquired to match the items that Ianto had picked out and were around the room in their respective places. The bed had been made and filled with the toys that Grace had taken a liking to.

"It's perfect," Ianto breathed, admiring every inch of the room before he went over to the wardrobe to find that it had been filled as well. He turned back to Jack, a huge grin on his face, "I love it. She's going to love growing up here."

"I know," Jack replied, feeling his heart swell with the knowledge that he was solely responsible for the grin that was lighting up Ianto's face. "She has us for parents."

And then Ianto turned to kiss him.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN:** Apologies for the immense delay; so much crap has happened in so little time that other stuff kinda took prioirty. Anyway, I'll be posting everything tonight and after that updates should be weekly, though I'm not quite sure when.

"Owen," Ianto said as the other man picked up the phone, "I need you to do me a favour."

Owen coughed, "Sorry, mate, but I don't swing that way."

"Very funny," replied Ianto dryly, "but I need you to look after Grace for me. Jack's holding the fort at work and a family emergency's come up." He paused, and added in his best persuasive voice, "And you have the night off."

Owen perked up immediately. "Sure mate!" He coughed again, trying to sound less eager, "I mean, erm, I'll be there in ten minutes."

Ianto didn't even bother to ask how Owen knew where he lived as he hung up.

Five minutes later, Owen pitched up outside Ianto's flat and was knocking on the door.

"Invite yourself in then," Ianto muttered as Owen walked past him and into the flat, admiring how open plan it was.

Owen turned round to face him. "Well, it's not quite as bad as I imagined," he joked, "no flowery curtains in sight, at least."

"Whatever," Ianto said, rolling his eyes. "She's over there in her car seat." He pointed at the door at the other end of the flat, next to the kitchen, "Her bedroom's through there and she has an _en_ _suite_." He paused as he walked back to the front door and pulled his coat on.

"Eat whatever you want but stay out the fridge. If you eat out of Jack's chocolate stash, though, he'll kill you…" Ianto shook his head as he opened the door and waved goodbye to Grace, "He _always_ knows."

"One more thing," Ianto continued from the door, "Don't tell Jack about this; I don't want him to worry."

"Yeah, whatever," Owen said as he headed over to the baby watching Little Einstein, "bed time for you soon, no?"

Ianto shut the door, knowing she was in good hands, before he hurried to the car to call his sister, "Which hospital did you say you were at?"

"St Helens, Ianto," Rhiannon's irritable voice came through the phone so loud he had to hold it away from his ear. "Where else did you think we would be?"

Ianto sighed, knowing that she was just worried about David. "I'll be there soon. Look, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"He bloody well better be," Rhiannon muttered crossly, "when he's better, he's going to have _me_ to face up to."

"Look," Ianto said as he tried to calm her down, "I'll be there soon. You can explain the situation to me then."

"Right then," Rhiannon said, "bye… David?! What are you doing to your sister?"

Ianto smiled, and hung up as he turned into the hospital car park.

"Right," Owen said after Little Einstein had finished, "you've got to go to bed now, because if you don't, your parents will have my head." Grace only smiled at him and tilted her head quizzically.

"Yes," Owen murmured, "you've got to go to bed now…" As soon as he lay her down on her side in the cot she started crying. "Ah, Grace, don't do this to me. You've got to go to bed."

Her crying got louder and Owen turned away, knowing she had to learn to get to sleep by herself. "Okay, Owen, give it five minutes and if she hasn't stopped crying, go back and get her." He left the room, shutting the door behind him, and then went to the kitchen to get some chocolate to make himself feel better.

He ended up getting through five Mars Bars (which were Jack's) before he went back into her room, where she was still wailing, her face turning rapidly red with the lung exertion. "Bugger," he muttered as he scooped her out of her cot. She stopped crying immediately. "You are one spoilt young lady."

She blinked at him, and he wiped her tears away with her pyjamas. "We're going to watch some television, and then _you're_ going to bed." She smiled at him, and stretched her hand out to his face. And Owen couldn't help but dote on the baby in his arms as he kissed her palm and smiled back at her, "You are going to ruin my image, you little monster …"

He carried her into the sitting room and pulled his mobile out his pocket, before he dialled Ianto's number.

Ianto picked up on the first ring, "Owen! Is she alright? What happened?"

"Calm down," Owen said as he settled Grace in her car seat, "she's fine. I just need to know how you get the little blighter to bed."

Ianto chuckled, sounding every bit the proud father that he was. "She's a handful isn't she?"

"I know…" Owen sighed, "So how do I get her to sleep?"

"It depends what kind of a mood she's in," Ianto said carefully, as Owen wondered how a baby that wasn't even six weeks old could have moods.

"For me, I'll just walk around and hum to her for a bit, but Jack just curls up with her on the sofa or in the bed." There was a loud noise and a cry in the background, "Look, either way it's going to be a long night for both of us and I, er, have to go now. Bye." He hung up.

Owen opened his mouth to swear when he caught sight of Grace staring at him innocently out of the corner of his eye. "Bugger…"

At the hospital Ianto headed back into the examination room where he, Mica, Rhiannon and David had spent the last half hour waiting to be seen.

Rhiannon was chastising her son, "David, why can't you just be like your sister and sit still?" She looked round as Ianto came back into the room, "You! Talk to your nephew!"

Ianto obeyed, recognising the look of anger on his sister's face and knowing how to stay on her good side, "David, look, if your mam lets you stay at home because you're not well, you shouldn't sneak out the house to play footie with the boys from the other side of the estate."

"But…" David tried to interrupt, but stopped as Ianto sat on the bed next to him.

"And if you feel ill, then you shouldn't show off and try and do a header." He paused as he looked over the angry red bump on the young boy's forehead, "Especially if you're near a goal post..."

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door and a doctor walked in, engrossed in David's chart.

"Well, David," the doctor began, and looked up, surprised to see so many people, "Well, you've brought the whole family in, haven't you?" He looked at Ianto and smiled reassuringly. "Your son's going to be fine; he only has a minor concussion."

"Oh," Ianto said as he put his hands up, "I'm not his father, I'm his uncle. Here for moral support and all that."

"Yeah," Rhiannon agreed, "his dad's working nights at the moment. And we need a lift home."

"Really?" the doctor said with a subtle interest in Ianto, "So for you to be here at this time of the night, you must not have any other _commitments_."

Ianto pretended not to notice the suggestion in the words and concentrated on the patient. "What about David? You said he had a minor concussion, will he be all right?"

"Oh, yes," the young doctor said, flustered as he dropped the file onto the counter at the side of the room, "I had Nurse Appleby check him out earlier and he was doing fine." He moved over to the bed where David and Ianto were sitting, pressing against Ianto's leg as he checked out David's bump.

"We only kept him in for observation," the doctor continued as he shone a light into the young boy's eyes, "and yes, he's reacting fine." He looked over his shoulder at Rhiannon, "He can go home."

"You only kept him in for observation?" Rhiannon sputtered incredulously, getting annoyed. The young doctor ignored her indignantly reddening face and turned round, pushing his arse right up against Ianto's leg.

"I could have done that, I'm his mother!" shouted Rhiannon, failing to notice the doctor's advances on her brother. "You've had us sitting in A&E for over six hours and now you tell us what's wrong with him! I've been worried sick!"

The doctor straightened up and moved away to the counter, which was the only thing in the room furthest from Rhiannon. "I'm sorry if there's been some sort of misunderstanding, but the notes say the Nurse informed the patient. All I can do is apologise."

Rhiannon sighed, too tired to have a real go at the doctor. Instead, she ushered her kids out the door, "Let's just get home, you two."

"I'm just going to, er, go now…" Ianto slid off the examination bed and moved to slip out the door after his family.

The young doctor didn't look up, just scribbled something on his piece of paper then handed it to Ianto. "If his, er, symptoms persist, just give me a ring."

He smiled as he forced the paper in to Ianto's palm then winked as he walked in the opposite direction down the corridor.

Ianto caught up with Rhiannon two corridors away. She began ranting at him as soon as he came up: "I can't believe they had the nerve to keep us there that late… Two young children and it's after midnight. I tell you what, Ianto, they're just bloody lucky that it's a Saturday, otherwise they'd be hearing from me."

Ianto nodded absently as he wondered how Owen was handling Grace.


	15. Chapter 15

"Ianto!" Jack called as he opened the front door and hung his coat up. "I'm home early, just for you…" He stopped, seeing that the flat was dark and quiet.

"You must have gone to bed early," he chuckled as he walked into Grace's room to check on her. "Not really a surprise after all the sex we had this morning."

Surprised that she wasn't in her bed, Jack figured that Ianto must have had a rough evening with her, since she was usually in her cot early.

He made his way into the bedroom, unsurprised to see a dark mop of hair peeking out from under the covers, curled up to the baby. He chuckled at the picture the two made and undressed quickly so as not to disturb them.

"I can't believe I came home early for this," Jack muttered as he took his boxers off and slid under the covers, "not even a goodnight kiss." He wrapped his arm around the dark-haired man's waist and pressed himself flush against his back so that they were spooned together.

Ianto fell through the front door an hour later, wracked with exhaustion, having taken a long detour to drop Rhiannon and the kids back home.

He frowned as he saw Jack's coat hanging up in the hallway, having not expected the other man to be home yet.

"Hello," he called softly, "anyone home?" He toed off his shoes and walked across the flat to check on Grace in her room, before he realised that the cot was empty and he headed back to his bedroom.

"Well," Ianto murmured as he poked his head round his bedroom door and caught sight of Jack spooning Owen who was holding the baby and started snickering, "that's a surprise…"

He shut the door quietly, knowing that Jack wasn't asleep and lay down on the sofa to catch a couple hours of sleep before he had to get up for the next day.

Three hours later, the screaming started.

Ianto clutched his head, bemoaning his lack of sleep and groggily made his way to his bedroom, wearing only his boxers as he rubbed at his eyes.

"Do you two want to keep it down in there?" he asked, as his expression turned very amused: in his bed, a naked Jack and a fully clothed Owen sat staring at each other and looking rather horrified.

"You're going to wake the baby," Ianto pointed out, and walked round to where Grace was crying, his tone sarcastic. "Oh, wait, you already have." He lifted her into his arms and turned to walk out the room again.

"Never mind, carry on!" he called back from the sitting room as he heard Jack and Owen begin to argue.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" raged Owen, "And why the hell are you naked?!" He caught sight of Jack's erection tenting the sheets, and all the blood rushed rapidly out of his face. "And what the hell is that?"

Jack rolled his eyes at Owen's dramatics. "I can't believe I got an erection from snuggling up to _you _for three hours." He looked down to see his erection had wilted at the thought.

Owen too had noticed this, "What's that supposed to mean? I'm a good-looking man!"

"Think about what you're saying, Owen," Jack said slowly and with a smile, "do you really want me to get an erection by just thinking about you?"

Owen shuddered, "Maybe not…" Then he muttered under his breath as he scratched his chin, "Mind you, a ladybird would give you an erection…"

Jack ignored the other man as got out the bed and bent over, exposing his naked arse to the air (and Owen).

Owen pretended not to notice, rubbing his eyes desperately as if he wanted to gouge them out, and went looking for his shoes.

"So," Jack said, wearing only boxers as he hopped onto one of the bar stools facing the kitchen, "what was all that about?"

"Well," sighed Ianto, who lifted his mug to his lips to hide his smile, "if you can't be bothered to check who you're spooning with at night, you deserve it."

"I wasn't expecting anyone else to be in your bed!" Jack said, raising his palms in a defensive gesture. "Besides, what _was_ he doing there?" He narrowed his eyes dangerously. "And where were you last night?"

"Couple much?" Ianto muttered, before he put his mug down and grabbed the bottle out of the warmer to feed Grace. "Rhiannon needed me last night," he explained as lifted Grace out of her car seat, which he had been rocking with his foot on the floor.

"David had an accident involving a goalpost and she needed support because Johnny was working the night shift." He paused and frowned, "Come to think of it, she probably only called me because she needed a lift home. Anyway, I didn't want to worry you, so I didn't tell you."

Jack frowned then slid off the stool so he could walk into the kitchen to join (grope) Ianto. "I forgive you," he muttered, as he pressed a kiss to Grace's forehead than Ianto's.

"There's nothing to forgive!" Ianto protested a little bit too loudly, and Grace promptly began fussing. Sighing, he started bouncing up and down on the spot to soothe her, but smiled. "It was funny and you know it."

Jack studied Ianto, absently scratching his crotch, before he moved forward to take the baby so Ianto could drink his coffee in peace.

"You are not touching her with that hand!" Ianto said as he nimbly dodged Jack's outstretched hands and pushed him towards the sink with his side, "You just scratched your crotch!"

It was now his turn to narrow his eyes at Jack, "You haven't done that before have you?"

Jack shrugged as he washed his hands before he turned back to Ianto and welcomed the baby into his arms, "Don't think so…"

Ianto rolled his eyes as he watched Jack become engrossed in the baby.

Twenty minutes later, Owen emerged with wet hair to find Jack, Ianto and baby curled up on the sofa watching Saturday's Kitchen.

"Hope you don't mind, Ianto," Owen said as he flopped gracelessly down into the free armchair, "but I used your shower."

Ianto shrugged, "Good to hear it—though it would have been a nice gesture _before_ you climbed into my bed."

"Now that's something you don't hear every day," Jack said, laughing.

Ianto smirked, "I don't know why you're laughing. Think how bad it's going to sound to the girls on Monday when I tell them I came home on Friday night to find you two in my bed."

Owen groaned and closed his eyes, "Shit… Tosh. She's going to be wondering where I am as well."

Ianto raised his eyebrows and Jack went into the kitchen to find some chocolate. "Since when have you and Tosh been…?"

"Erm, it's not really official," Owen muttered, slightly annoyed at himself for letting it slip, "don't tell anyone just yet. I don't want motor-mouth to get hold of it." He nodded at Jack, who was out of earshot.

"No problem," agreed Ianto, "Tosh's kept quiet about a lot of things for me."

Owen opened his mouth to ask before he shook his head, "Never mind. I don't think I want to know." He stood up to leave and Ianto followed him with the baby in his arms.

"See you guys on Monday," he called to Jack (who turned and waved), and then turned his attention to Grace, "And you, little miss. You'll miss your Uncle Owen won't you? Me and you have fun—"

"Why the hell is there only one Mars bar?" Jack shouted from the other end of the flat. "Owen!"

"And that is my cue to leave," Owen muttered as he pressed a kiss to Grace's forehead before he ran out of the flat.

Ianto turned round, smiling at Jack's behaviour. "He's gone. You can't kill him till Monday. That way, it's legal since you're his boss."

Jack pouted as he looked down at his one remaining chocolate bar.


	16. Chapter 16

"I can't believe we're going swimming," Ianto muttered. "This is going to be so embarrassing—I know something's going to go wrong."

"Chillax," Jack grinned, as he leaned over Ianto's chest to play with Grace, blowing raspberries that made her coo in delight.

Ianto frowned, "Aren't you too old to say that?"

"I'm as old as I feel," replied Jack, grinning lecherously at Ianto. "Or should I say, _what_ I feel."

"Well, if that's the case," Ianto said smugly, ignoring Jack's last remark, "You're like gone-off plums. They're much too squishy and _way_ too soft."

Jack scowled. "No, they're not—they're just the right texture. Firm, but not too firm."

Ianto snickered at how worried he had Jack and shifted Grace further up his arm, "Whatever you say…"

"My balls are the stuff of legends," Jack said proudly, shifting the changing bag discreetly so he could check that was all right down there.

Ianto agreed, "Yes, you're a legend in your own mind."

Jack's next protest was cut off by Gwen's babbling as she popped up next to them out of where. "Oh my gosh, Ianto!" she cried, "I'm so sorry we're late! This week's been so busy, you know? So, I forgot to get her swimming costume, so we just popped into Reception and grabbed the only one they had in her size."

Ianto grimaced and Jack muttered, "This is a make or break moment."

"You're telling me," whispered Ianto as they watched Gwen and Rhys search through their many bags for Grace's swimming costume.

Eventually, Rhys found it, holding up a bundle of filmy material triumphantly. "Here it is, I told you you put it in your bag didn't I? You daft woman…"

"Here you go," Gwen said, ignoring her husband, "it was the only one we could find."

Jack took the swimming costume from her and removed the packaging, holding it up for all to see the monstrosity that his daughter was going to be wearing in no less than twenty minutes. "But it's purple!" he protested, aghast.

"And there're orange ducks on it." Ianto added, as he frowned at the offending object.

Gwen grinned sheepishly, "Is it that bad? It looked better on the packet."

Rhys snorted from behind her, hiding his laughter at her blatant lie.

"Erm, no," Ianto said, his voice strained. He gulped and shook his head, "It's not _that_ bad."

"It could be worse," Jack interjected.

Ianto turned to him and the two exchanged looks which involved raised eyebrows and general looks of horror.

"Well, you give me the kit and I'll get her changed," Gwen said briskly, moving over to Ianto, ready to get things moving.

Ianto looked hesitant, unwilling to let go of his daughter. "Can't I take her with me?"

Gwen shook her head, "There're no changing mats for babies in the men's room." She paused, and looked thoughtful. "Not that it's at all misogynistic or discriminatory towards women."

"How d'you know there's no changing mats in the men's anyway?" Rhys asked, suspicious. "You've never been in there what with you being a woman and all." He narrowed his eyes, "Or is there something you're not telling me?"

"I'm a police officer, Rhys!" Gwen said with much arm waving. "I've been to many places and I've seen many things I'd rather not have."

"That sounds like your current job," Jack muttered, amused at the miniature scene the couple was making.

Gwen turned her attention to Jack, "Oh, don't get him started on that," she moaned as Ianto handed her the baby, albeit reluctantly. She turned to Rhys, ignoring Ianto and Jack who were bickering quietly, "Right, well I'm going to get Grace changed—I'll probably be there before you lot if those two are up to their usual shenanigans."

Jack and Ianto stopped and turned to grin at each other while Rhys looked a bit wary of them. They made their way into the changing rooms which were empty since it was ridiculously early.

"So, Ianto," Rhys said conversationally, "good to be a man again, eh?"

Jack looked between Rhys and Ianto incredulously, "You met him when he was a woman?"

Ianto grinned sheepishly and turned his back to the two as he started to take his clothes off, "Tosh was away and I couldn't really relate to anyone else…"

"But you could relate to Rhys?" Jack asked, his voice reflecting his amusement.

Rhys cut in, "I resent that remark. He came round to spend time with Gwen. We had dinner. It's not that often I get to eat with beautiful women."

Ianto blushed and rummaged through his bag for his swimming trunks.

"So?" Jack said, a hint of jealousy touching his voice, as he turned to Rhys, "You thought Ianto was a beautiful woman?"

"Well, yeah," Rhys said matter-of-factly as he pulled his t-shirt off, "if I'd been single…"

"You wouldn't have done anything," Jack muttered, unbuttoning his shirt a little bit too roughly.

"And if it hadn't been you, Ianto," continued Rhys, unaware of the effect he was having on Jack, "not that I have any problem with you, you're a nice enough bloke and everything, I just don't want to shag you."

Ianto laughed, "Fair enough, since I don't want to shag you either."

"I should bloody well hope not," mumbled Jack as he searched for his swimwear while muttering other profanities under his breath at the thought of anyone shagging Ianto _but_ him.

"You're not wearing that, Jack," Ianto said, eyes wide as Jack laid out the offending item on the bench.

Rhys turned round from where he was stepping into his swimming trunks to look at what Jack had brought. "He's right," Rhys said, "you're going where no man has boldly gone before."

"But this is the norm in the…" Jack protested.

Ianto interrupted as he held up the Speedos to the light to examine the lack of material, "I do not care what century you are from or what century _this_ is from. You are not wearing it."

There was silence for a few moments as the three men gazed at how translucent the material was.

"So, where is that the norm?" Ianto asked, his curiosity having gotten the better of him.

Jack smiled, "I spent a couple of years touring round Europe and those were popular in Germany. The swimming pool authorities reckon that it's easy to hide dangerous material or something like that in the boxer-style trunks, so some of them have a rule that men are only allowed to wear Speedos in swimming pools."

Rhys gulped, "What century _are _you from?"


	17. Chapter 17

"She doesn't like baths but she likes swimming?" Ianto shook his head as he watched Jack hold Grace, submerged up to her shoulders. He sighed, "She's so contrary."

Jack smiled down at his daughter, his finger grasped in her fist, admiring how relaxed and peaceful she looked. "If you overlook the swimming costume, I'd say she was one cool baby."

Ianto chuckled and smiled as he saw Grace stare at him from the corner of her eyes. Jack also noticed and moved to pass her over to Ianto, but she started fussing so Jack concentrated on calming her down again.

"She has Jack round her little finger too, eh?" Gwen asked Ianto, and Jack started, oblivious to her arrival.

Ianto nodded and turned to whisper to her quietly, "He's become a kept man of late. He put her nursery together, he changes her, puts her down…" He trailed off and turned to watch his lover and daughter.

"And she loves him," Gwen added, turning to Ianto with a knowing glint her eye, "I saw him try to pass her to you and she flat out refused. She's a daddy's girl already."

Ianto raised an eyebrow and Gwen realised her mistake, "Not that I'm saying you're not a father figure or anything, you just know that out of the two of you, he's going to be the overprotective, overbearing one. Especially when it becomes to boyfriends."

"I feel sorry for her." Interrupted Rhys as he swum over and Ianto agreed (secretly).

"The man doesn't sleep so she can't even sneak out the house at night." Gwen added. "He'd have no qualms about following her on dates. And he'd do it badly just so they _knew_ they were being followed. And offer them popcorn when they went to the cinema."

Ianto sniggered at the two, his mind turning over the idea of how attractive he found Jack being a father, so much so that he felt the blood draining out of his brain, "You know; it's a good thing he wasn't wearing those Speedos while holding Grace otherwise everyone would think he was a paedo."

Gwen and Rhys nodded, Gwen imagining Jack in Speedos and Rhys just cringing. Ianto just smiled at the couple before he went to swim his extra energy off and hopefully re-divert blood flow back to his brain.

"What do you think he sees in him?" Rhys asked as he watched Ianto swim away.

"Who?" Gwen asked, hating it when Rhys was unnecessarily vague.

"Jack in Ianto."

"Yes," Gwen agreed sarcastically, seeing that Rhys was still staring off into space and not engaging in conversation, "I'm sure that's a place he's in often."

"What?!" Rhys said, as he turned his attention back to his wife. He narrowed his eyes at her before he shook his head, "What I meant was, what does Jack see in Ianto? I mean, I thought they were both straight when I met them, and here we are playing happy families with them."

"Maybe he's really good in bed?" suggested Gwen.

"And I see you've been thinking about that." Rhys muttered. "Bloody mind cheater."

Gwen hit him lightly, "I was wondering the same thing myself. Though, it doesn't matter really, they're good for each other—this is the happiest I've seen either of them."

Rhys looked down at his wife fondly and hugged her.

"I think Jack's got an erection," Rhys mumbled.

"How d'you know?" Gwen whispered back in an equally scandalous tone.

"I've shared many a communal shower with men before," Rhys explained in a matter-of-fact tone. "He's displaying all the signs."

Gwen looked at Jack properly for the first time since she got in the pool. He was standing funnily as he leant against the edge; legs crossed over each other and his hips shifted against the side of the pool instead of leaning back against it as was more comfortable.

She also had to admit he pulled of the daddy-thing extremely well and was looking very, very sexy.

Rhys coughed and she realised she'd spent too long checking out Jack's chest.

"What?" Gwen complained, "I was looking at Grace!"

Rhys gave her pointed a look, "Maybe we should go and give him some company; he looks lonely standing over there all by himself."

"Yeah," Gwen repeated dumbly as a wave of water splashed Jack's chest and droplets started moving down it slowly, "He looks real lonely."

"This is going to be awkward." Rhys muttered staring at Jack's crotch.

Gwen noticed and slapped him on the arm, "Stop staring at it. He's going to notice. Then he'll think you're gay." She paused and punctuated each word with a slap, "Especially if you go round insinuating that I used to be a man."

"Bloody hell," Rhys muttered rubbing his arm as he moved away from his wife and towards Jack, "I knew I shouldn't have believed you when you said you never held a grudge."

"I can't believe you told them I had an erection." Jack said, sounding an odd mixture of slightly annoyed and amused as they walked back to the car.

Ianto turned to him, to protest his innocence, "I didn't!"

"Thing is, I didn't have one though," Jack grabbed his hand, "you did."

"I know," Ianto grinned mischievously, knowing that Jack was amused, "but it was funny to watch their reactions. Gwen was so scandalous."

"And none of them suspected you," Jack muttered, frowning at that revelation, "I don't understand that—you're one of the dirtiest people I know."

"I have an innocent reputation to uphold." Ianto said as he smirked proudly as they walked round the car park.

"Anyway, neither Gwen or Rhys have any subtlety," added Jack as he unlocked the car, "they spent the rest of the hour staring at the folds in those disgusting mucus-coloured trunks and trying to work out which one was my cock."

Ianto snickered, "I know. It was too funny to come back and just watch them trying not to stare. How long did it take you to realise what they were doing?"

"Too long," Jack shrugged, "I could have told you if you'd let me wear my Wrist Strap into the pool."

Ianto frowned as he strapped the car seat into the back of the car, "Because that wouldn't have looked suspicious. Or odd."

"I'd rather be odd than nasty," interrupted Jack as he climbed into the front and put the radio on, "those shorts were disgusting."

"Well don't pack those sad excuses for swimwear and we won't have a problem." He shook his head as he joined Jack in the front of the car, "I don't know why you even bothered to bring a rucksack; you could have fit it in a sandwich bag."

Jack smiled at Ianto's ranting, "Face it. You just don't want other men to see my cock."

"Erm, I'm pretty sure that's not it," Ianto muttered sarcastically, "that thing could poke you in the eye from miles away. I'm pretty sure it's done that to me before now that I think about it…"

Jack made a show of ignoring him as he turned up the radio and started singing along to the song, "And then you make this noise, and it's apparent it's all over…"

Ianto smiled watched Jack, feeling slightly amused as Jack sung loudly about erectile dysfunction. "Where do you want to go for lunch?"


	18. Chapter 18

Jack looked around the room for some place to stash the used condom until they were ready to get up.

"Don't you dare throw that in my bedroom bin," Ianto muttered, his head on Jack's chest. "If I'd known that's where you'd been stashing them all this time I wouldn't have wondered about the smell."

"Used condoms don't smell though…," complained Jack.

"They do when they're there for days and you insist on eating sandwiches in bed and then throwing the crusts into the bin, and then they mix with the contents of the condom, which you forgot to tie and then….."

"And then you wouldn't have killed me for it either," Jack interrupted as he spotted an empty plastic bag and watched the condom fly awkwardly across the room as he'd thrown it with his left hand. "I don't understand why I have to get rid of them…"

"Do I make you get rid of them when I wear them?" Ianto asked; beginning to feel less tired as Jack rolled him so that he was lying on top of the older man.

Jack didn't reply, instead glanced at the clock, surprised to see that it was so late. "Ianto we have to get up now…"

"No," Ianto groaned as he snuggled into Jack, his voice muffled by the other man's chest.

Jack laughed, "Would a shower make you feel better?"

"No," Ianto sulked, unmoving from where he was sprawled.

Jack rolled Ianto off him and threw him over his shoulder before the younger man could react.

He walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, still carrying Ianto.

Ianto gasped, still winded from being thrown over Jack's rather bony shoulder, "Let me go!"

Jack snorted and tightened his grip on Ianto, "No."

Ianto shifted on Jack's shoulder then felt the younger man's hand coursing through his hair, "I knew you had grey hairs back here…"

Jack dropped him quickly and rushed to the mirror, trying to look at the back of his head by twisting in awkward angles, "No I don't!"

"You do." Ianto stepped into the shower and began to lather himself up with soap. "Jack…"

Jack ignored him, instead concentrating on the mirror and parting his hair to check that it wasn't grey, "I'm busy looking to prove you wrong."

"I can find something better to look at if you turn round."

Then Jack turned round, and was faced with the sight of Ianto wearing only bubbles, that were slowly disappearing as he inched closer and closer back under the shower head. Grey hairs, he decided could wait until later to be found. That was, if they were there.

"Guess what Ianto!" Jack called as he hurried down the stairs to the archives where Ianto was. "Owen and Tosh. They came into work together. You must know what that means! They're sleeping together!"

Ianto laughed and looked up from his work to take in Jack's smile, "You know there might be a perfectly reasonable explanation that doesn't involve sex."

Jack snorted and Ianto continued, "I know. Owen told me already."

Jack frowned, "Since when did you two become besties?"

"Since we decided to time-share you and rotate weekends." Ianto said as he finished completing the form before he put it in its respective folder, "I just didn't think you'd do it in my bedroom."

"We didn't do anything!" Jack sighed as he followed Ianto as he navigated his way through the archives, looking for a specific box to put the folder in, "It was a misunderstanding I thought Owen was you..."

"I don't know if I should be insulted." Muttered Ianto as he put the folder in the box then sealed it with the customary blue Torchwood tape.

"It was dark!" protested Jack as they walked back to Ianto's desk, "You both have dark hair! Although Owen has a slightly smaller frame."

Ianto frowned.

"And how do you know this?" Tosh said, capturing their attention instantly from the stairs.

Jack spluttered and Ianto spoke up for him amused, "Did Owen tell you on Saturday morning he woke up with Jack?"

Jack blushed at the idea that him and Owen were caught doing unmentionable things in Ianto's bed, "It's not as bad as it sounds."

"I bloody well hope not." Tosh said as she grabbed a magazine and sat in Ianto's chair, putting her legs on the desk, "Well, I'm waiting…" She looked up and saw that Jack and Ianto were distracted by her legs, or the view up her skirt they provided. She rolled her eyes and took her legs off the desk.

"So when did you two hook up?" Jack finally said, deflecting from his embarrassing situation with Owen.

Ianto did a quick psycho-analysis on Jack and wasn't too willing to let him get out of this without any answers, especially since he hadn't been any help when both Gwen and Tosh interrogated him last week, "You're deflecting."

Jack frowned and mumbled a series of expletives under his breath that Ianto couldn't understand.

"Don't worry Jack," Tosh said feeling generous, "I knew about Saturday already."

Jack was indignant and sat down in the chair opposite before Ianto could, "How?!"

"Ianto told me." Tosh replied simply, "And so did Owen. He was thoroughly embarrassed when I asked him where he was on Saturday morning."

Ianto glared at Jack, and Jack patted his knees to let him know that if he wanted to sit down he could sit in his lap. "Why twenty questions then?"

Tosh's eyes twinkled at the exchange between the two, "Revenge for the bet last week, of course…"

Jack thought about that a moment before he frowned, "Why me and not Ianto?"

Ianto interrupted at this point, fed up of being left out of the conversation, "We have a long standing arrangement…."

Jack nodded, storing the information away for later, "How did you two get together?"

Tosh sighed, not really wanting to talk about it, "You know that second date I had with James?" Ianto nodded and she continued, "Well it didn't end well. We had sex again, which was _fantastic_, but after we finished I realised he'd taken the condom off. Naturally, I freaked as I didn't know if he had any STDs-"

Ianto and Jack interrupted together, "They're called STIs now."

Tosh rolled her eyes before she continued again, "STIs or something else just as nasty. Then he said to me something along the lines of, 'I love you. I want you to be the mother of my children.'"

Ianto and Jack exchanged horrified looks.

"So I ran into the bathroom and locked the door and called Owen. He was round there in less than ten minutes even though he lives on the other side of town and he got rid of him for me."

"You were lucky," Ianto said, "that you had Owen; that James sounds like his cheese slid of his cracker."

Tosh smiled at that, "Have you two been watching The Green Mile again?"

Jack nodded, "After we went swimming."

"How was that?" Tosh's face lit up at the prospect of being regaled with amusing stories at the time they had spent at the leisure centre.

"Awful." Ianto muttered, "Grace looked like a beech ball and Jack looked like a paedo. He packed a pair of Speedos."

Tosh burst out laughing, and Jack frowned, "Just because a man wears Speedos does not mean he looks like a paedophile!"

"It could have been worse," Tosh insisted, "He could have worn a mankini like Borat."

"I can't believe you'd think I'd wear that!" Jack muttered, crossing his arms over his chest, "I have better taste than that."

Ianto snickered before he went upstairs to make some coffee, "I would pay good money to see it though."

"Me too." Tosh added.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN:** So I was intending to post this before Christmas but RL has been so busy. And a new chapter to celebrate a new laptop!

Jack put the phone down and turned round to face Ianto who was sitting at the workstation across from him. "So Gwen's ill today…"

Ianto didn't look up from Gwen's workstation, but raised an eyebrow.

Jack continued, undeterred by Ianto's apparent lack of interest, "Something about a stomach bug—Rhys said she's being sick all over the place."

Ianto looked up, to see Jack balancing precariously on the edge of his workstation, "So… do you want to have sex in my office?"

"Yes." Ianto said, still not looking up from his work.

Jack raised his eyebrows, "You've never said yes so quickly before."

"And I never finished my sentence either," Ianto added as he walked past Jack after leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips. "I was going to say wait until lunch or something when everyone's out for at least an hour. Or until they've gone home."

"No time like the present," Jack muttered, sipping his coffee as he followed Ianto on his walk round the Hub.

Ianto smiled to himself as he did a quick tidy of each workstation, Jack still following him, "Because Owen or Tosh could walk through that door any minute now."

"But they're always late nowadays," complained Jack, "because they're having sex!"

Ianto turned round to watch Jack pout before he leaned up to kiss him again, but this time for longer before he detached himself from Jack's lips and arms and hips, "And that is lasting you till lunch."

"What?" Jack said, before he continued following Ianto around again, "that's not fair."

"That's all your getting," Ianto replied as he finished clearing Owen's workstation (which had taken the longest) before he moved over to the kitchen. "I have work to do in the Archives."

"But Ianto…." Whined Jack

"Oh, so you want Owen to walk in on you shagging my brains out?" muttered Ianto as he walked over to the steps.

"He wouldn't mind," Jack called back as he went off to heat up his coffee which had cooled down.

"In fact he'd probably enjoy it…." He trailed off and frowned, before he rummaged in the cutlery draw to pull something that looked a lot like a pair of boxers out the microwave. "What are these?"

Ianto recognised the sound of shock in Jack's voice and glanced back, slightly disgusted to see that Jack was using a fork to hold up the boxers, "Oh, those are mine."

"Could you possibly be any later?" Ianto asked Owen and Tosh as he watched them walk into the Hub. "It's almost lunch time."

"Brilliant!" Owen said as he sat down in his chair, clapping his hands, "Food after sex."

He turned round as Tosh hit him in the back of head with her pen. "What?!"

"I knew it!" Jack said, from the stairs where he'd been watching everyone, "Didn't I tell you Ianto? Didn't I tell you?"

Ianto shook his head at Jack's lack of subtlety.

"So, you guys knew?" Owen asked, looking between Ianto and Jack incredulously.

"Only us two," Jack clarified before things could get confusing with Gwen.

Owen smiled and was about to open his mouth to say something when Ianto interrupted him, "No we _can't_ double date."

"And no foursomes either." Jack added, grinning as he watched Tosh and Ianto cringe at the thought.

"No chance of that happening," muttered Ianto as he glanced at Grace who was sleeping in her car seat.

Owen frowned, "Why not?"

"We might as well go to lunch now," Ianto said to the team, "otherwise Owen's going to complain that he's distracted and won't be able to concentrate."

"I agree," interjected Owen, from his desk where he was buried under mounds of paperwork.

Tosh sniffed, not entirely ha

"How about Tosh and I go to return the outfit I bought Grace, you two finish up here and then we can all meet and go out for lunch?"

"Or they can baby-proof the Hub." Tosh suggested.

Owen turned to glare at her and she protested, "Why not? The rift's been quiet and we might as well do it while we remember otherwise it's just going to get forgotten and next thing we know she's matriculating."

"Ma-what?" Owen interjected.

"Matriculating is when you graduate," Ianto said slowly, "And I thought you had to be smart to be a doctor…"

"Exactly!" protested Owen, "I'm a doctor! Ask me about epigenetics or the Krebs cycle any time, matriculating? I haven't got a fucking clue."

Grace woke at his outburst, crying loudly before Ianto, who was closest, went over to pick her up.

"Are we going out to eat or not?" Jack asked, putting his coat on as he came down the stairs, before he walked across to drop a kiss on Ianto's cheek and one on Grace's forehead.

"You're not," Tosh corrected, "you're going to baby-proof the Hub with Owen, while Ianto and I go and return the baby grow that I bought her."

"Where is it?" Jack asked, playing with Grace before he looked up at Ianto, "I'll go and get it for you."

"It's OK," Ianto said, shaking his head. "It's in that plastic bag I found in the bedroom this morning and I left it in the car."

Jack shrugged as Ianto handed Grace back to him, "Sure, whatever."

"OK," Ianto muttered, "I haven't fed her yet, so I'll see you later." He dropped a quick kiss on Jack's cheek, expecting to turn round to see Owen frowning and Tosh smiling as she waited for him.

Instead, he turned round to find Owen and Tosh snogging quietly on the other side of the Hub.

"Oh, the young and in love," Jack sighed fondly as they watched the pair.

Ianto frowned, "You're forgetting that I'm younger than both of them."

"And don't I know it?" Jack said with a lecherous grin as he smacked Ianto's arse, "They say you're as old as what, or rather who you feel."

"You two love birds ready yet?" Owen shouted, disrupting their banter.

Ianto rolled his eyes at Owen's impatience as he walked over to meet Tosh at the door.

"Don't forget I haven't fed her yet," Ianto called back over his shoulder. He was about to turn round to add something to that when Tosh cut him off complaining about how hungry she was and the two hurried off to talk about their respective boyfriends.


End file.
